


The Snow in Winter

by SteebRogurz



Category: MCU, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Love, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, somewhat of a love triangle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-10-05 20:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 27,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17331692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteebRogurz/pseuds/SteebRogurz
Summary: When you wake up in a cave with no memory of who you are the Avengers come to your aid as you try to adjust to your new life with them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone! I've been working on this fanfic for a while now and thought it was time to maybe post it :) Here's the first chapter! Let me know what you think and I'll post more. I hope you like it!
> 
> P.S. This is post Civil War that ended differently
> 
> P.P.S. if there are any warnings you want me to add please let me know.

Everything was cold. And dark. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times but the darkness never changed. I could feel pebbles move underneath as I sat up and tried to stand. It took a few tries since my legs didn’t want to work. I could hear a stream of water slipping down a wall nearby and crawl to it. I could feel the rough texture of a stone wall and find purchase to pull myself up and lean on it for support. Slowly I made my way around what felt like a cave until I found a door. Trying the handle the door budged but it was heavy and took a few tries to push it open enough to step into what looked like a hall in the light. While the hallway was dim it was still blinding. Where was I? How long have I been here? Why was I here?

 

I saw a flight of stairs and made my way to them and slowly I began to climb. When I was halfway up I could start to hear shouting and explosions. What was happening?! I turned to run the other way and made it two steps down when the door exploded inward knocking me off my feet. I landed at the bottom of the stairs and scrambled backward. A man in a metal suit of armour flew into the hallway landed right in front of me and raised a glowing hand towards me.

 

"Cap, I got a civilian in here."

 

I heard him speak but the words meant nothing to me just sounds coming from a robot. He spoke again.

 

"Hey! I’m trying to help you, lady!"

 

I tried to push to my feet and ran the other way but something hit my neck, the world went blurry then dark before my head hit the ground.

 

The next time I opened my eyes there was light and noise everywhere. Lamps on tables beside me, fluorescent lights above my head blinding me. Machines beeped behind me just out of eyesight and people talking somewhere in the room. I blinked a few times to adjust to the brightness and looked around.

 

"Hey, Tony! She’s awake!" A red-haired woman got up from the chair next to the bed and called outside the door before returning to the chair. She reached for my hand but I pulled away. I didn’t know this woman. I didn’t know any of these people. "It’s alright, you’re safe. We found you at a Hydra camp."

 

"Who are you?" I asked the woman, the beeping behind my head sped up keeping time with my racing heart. "I don’t know what you’re saying." Tears started welling up in my eyes as I looked down at myself and saw IVs in my arm and monitor wires stuck to my chest. Suddenly I could see my breath fog in the air. Frost climbed up the windows and my tears hardened on my face.

 

The woman stood from her chair and backed away toward the door with her hands raised in a cautious gesture. "Everything is ok. No one is going to hurt you." She stated, her voice never wavering. "Tony, I don’t think she speaks English someone should get Wanda. It sounds like Sokovian."

 

The woman left the room shortly after, shivering. What was going on? I could see the frost forming on surfaces and looked around to try to find where the source of the phenomenon. I moved my legs and felt the bed crunch under me, looking down I saw actual ice had frozen the sheets around me.

 

 _I_ was doing this.

 

Closing my eyes I took three deep breaths. If my panic was causing the snow to fall inside a closed room then hopefully calming down would stop it.

 

My fear melted away with the snow. It had stopped falling and was now slowly becoming puddles on the floor, soaking into unfrozen parts of the blanket. The ice, it seemed, would take longer to disappear. Apparently, the ice didn’t go away as fast as it came.

 

The door opened and a different red-headed woman rushed into the room not even stopping to consider the ice everywhere. She walked right up to the bed and hugged me. Arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders muttering things about how she thought I was dead. When she pulled back she looked into my eyes as if she was searching for something.

 

"Y/N, it’s me, Wanda." Her hands moved to my shoulders as she sat on the bed facing me. I shook my head not knowing what she was talking about. "We grew up together. In Sokovia. Do you remember?"

 

I shook my head again, "I don’t know you." I shrugged out of her embrace.

 

I could see tears start to well up in her eyes. The woman stood from the bed and walked to the door again where a man now stood studying the room with wide eyes. They spoke in hushed tones which seemed useless since I couldn’t understand them anyway. Then they both turned to look at me and made movements toward my bed; the man went to stand at the foot of the bed and the woman, Wanda, sat at the chair.

 

"Y/N, this is Tony Stark. You’re in America, at the Avengers compound." Wanda translated for the man. "We found you in an underground science facility run by Hydra. We believe they wiped your memories and experimented on you."

 

"Why do you keep calling me Y/N? What’s an Avenger?" I asked looking between the two of them. None of this was making sense.

 

Wanda and Tony exchanged glances between each other. "That’s your name. Y/F/N Y/L/N, you were born in Sokovia on Y/B/D. We’ve been best friends since childhood." Wanda said evenly. "Tony thinks he can reverse the memory wipe-"

 

"No!" I cut her off. I may not know who I am now but also didn’t know who I was before. All I knew was that I had powers and with them, I had a chance of getting out of this place.  

 

Wanda started to protest but Tony cut her off, after a few short words from him she sighed. "Ok, we’ll move you to a better room, Tony wants to run some tests to see exactly what they did to you."

 

I nodded solemnly a plan already forming in my head and if I stayed calm and seemingly timid there’s a good chance they wouldn’t lock me down so securely.

 

The room Wanda led me to was three floors up, through the kitchen, eating area, common area and on the far end of a long hallway. "Are you hungry? I can make you something." She offered as I stepped into the windowless room. I shook my head and saw a sadness in her eyes but also a hardness that told me she had been through this before. "It’s late, I think you should get some rest. If you need anything there’s an AI in the building called Friday…I know, it takes some getting used to."

 

She closed the door and I waited for the click of a lock but nothing came. Hopefully, this AI wouldn’t cause any problems, but I had to at least try to get out. I turned to examine the room. It was small with only a bed, dresser, and a desk. The room was bare, nothing hung on the walls, or sat in the dresser, the pillow was even attached to the mattress. There was a door that led to a small bathroom but nothing on the counter except for a towel, a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste. They called it a room but it still felt like a cell. So I spent the next few hours pacing the small room waiting for a time that felt right.

 

When that time came I turned the knob and slowly pushed the door open, peaking out around the door I saw no one. I took a steadying breath, stepped out into the dark hallway and padded towards the elevator. I almost got to it when I heard the click of a lamp being turned on. I froze. My arm outstretched toward the elevator button. Then I heard heavy footsteps and a voice sounded behind me. I turned to see a very tall, very large man standing five feet away from me. I didn't miss the light glinting off a metal arm.

 

Confident he wouldn’t understand me I spoke gibberish trying to look lost and confused.

 

"That’s not going to help your case." He answered in Sokovian. I took a step back, this was not what I was expecting, I was going to need to change my tactics.

 

He took a few more steps towards me and I backed myself up against the elevator door. "I- I was looking for the bathroom," I said trying to distract him as I slowly reached for the button beside me.

 

The man continued his advance and just before I could push the elevator button his right hand snaked out faster than I could’ve expected and grabbed my wrist. I acted fast, reaching with my other hand I grabbed hold of his own wrist and squeezed. He hissed as his arm grew colder and colder but he held on and threw a punch with his metal hand. I let go and ducked, stepping to the side but couldn’t get very far since he was still holding my left wrist, so I twisted around him trying to knock him off balance. It almost worked. He loosened his grip just the smallest amount but as soon as he realized this he doubled the pressure and pushed me against the wall, his right hand still around my wrist and his left arm across my neck pinning me to the wall.

 

"Please let me go." I looked into his eyes hoping he’d see a scared woman wanting to get out of an unknown and frightening place. But his eyes were hard and cold. Uncaring.

 

"I can’t do that." Was all he said. He pulled me from the wall and turned me around so that my arm was painfully twisted at my back and his other hand moved to the back of my neck steering me back the way I had come. No amount of hitting or iciness would get him to release me. He shoved me back into the room and as he did he told me, “You have nothing to fear from this place, they want to help you." Before shutting the door, this time turning the lock.


	2. Chapter 2

I swore as I ran my fingers through my hair. It felt slick with sweat and grease and for the first time since waking up in this place, I thought about how I must have looked. I moved to stand in front of the bathroom mirror to fully take in my appearance. My hair fell limp and greasy around my face, my eyes held an icy hardness to them that told me they had seen a lot even though I didn’t remember. My face had been wiped clean but it looked like everywhere else had the same dirt since the cave. Thankfully, however, my clothes had been changed. A thin long sleeved shirt and soft sweatpants that were too big for me hung off my thin torso. I must not have been fed too much. 

 

I turned towards a glass box that contained only a shower head and a drain, after inspecting the wall further I still didn't see knobs or buttons to turn on the water. 

 

"Friday?" I asked out loud wondering if this computer would even understand me.

 

"Hello miss. What can I help you with tonight?" A woman’s soothing voice answered in my own language. 

 

"How do I shower here?" I felt silly talking to no one but that feeling dissipated when a screen in the wall of the shower lit up with the controls.  _ What a strange house this is. _ I thought to myself. 

 

I stripped down and saw for the first time how skinny I really was. I was too skinny, too many of my bones were visible, it was a wonder how that man didn’t break anything during our altercation.  As I stepped onto the warm tiles of the shower floor. Next to the control screen, a little hole had appeared in the wall containing tiny bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and soap. 

 

I was able to get the water running at a decent temperature and scrubbed away all the dirt and sweat that clung to my skin. As the water washed the grime away, the tension I had been holding onto lessened too. The knots in my shoulders loosened, my hands stopped shaking, I felt a calm wash over me. 

 

Once I was clean I stepped out and dried myself before slipping back into the clothes they had provided. I walked back into the bedroom and sat on the bed looking at my hands. They gave off a shimmer that reminded me of the way freshly fallen snow shimmered in the sunlight. How was this possible? Had I always been like this? They said I was experimented on maybe I was created. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply willing something to happen. After a few minutes of some sort of meditating nothing changed. No snow, no frost, no ice, nothing. I sighed and laid my head on the firm pillow not bothering to pull the blankets up around me, my body seemed to relax even more as I drifted off to sleep. 

 

My dreams, however, were anything but relaxing. I only caught snippets. Flashes of a life I didn’t remember and faces I didn’t know...except the woman named Wanda. Her face drifted in and out of focus as the scenery changed. Echoes of laughter rang out before the screams started. Pain was the last thing I felt before I opened my eyes. I jerked awake breathing heavily and covered in ice and snow, for a moment I thought I had woken up outside until I felt the bed beneath me. I wasn’t outside but it had snowed in the room. Sheets of ice covered every surface in the room, it clung to my hair and crunched beneath my feet as I stood up from the bed. The bathroom was clear of snow when I opened the door, so it was just the bedroom. 

 

I was brushing my teeth when the door to the room opened and I heard more hushed voices at the door. I spit out the toothpaste and slowly walked out into the snow-covered bedroom to see Wanda standing at the door with yet another man I didn’t know.

 

“Y/N, this is Doctor Bruce Banner. He is going to be running some tests to figure out what they did to you in that compound.” She said calmly with a sweet smile on her face. 

 

“I saw you in my dream last night. I knew you.”

 

Wanda’s eyes lit up with a glimmer of hope.

 

“Will it hurt? The memory restoring?” My arms curled around my body in a protective manner. I tried to look strong but the truth was I was scared. Scared of what I would remember if it worked, scared of the pain I know I would feel. But her face, Wanda had meant a great deal to me before and when I looked at her now I felt nothing. I needed to know. 

 

“I’ll get Mr. Stark. He’ll tell you everything.” She left the room leaving me with the man she had introduced as Bruce. His words just washed over me as he spoke to me and even once he realized I couldn’t understand a word he still talked. He talked on the way to a lab area, he talked as I was hooked up to machines and monitors. I just stared ahead and let them move me to where they wanted me to be. 

 

These tests seemed to take half a day. Once Dr. Banner had finished with his scans Mr. Stark sauntered into the lab like he owned the place and clapped his hands once as he walked up to me. 

 

“Alright Elsa, Wanda tells me you’ve had a change of heart,” he said grinning at me as the AI translated for him. “I can’t tell you it’ll be easy or painless, it looks like a big chunk of your life has been wiped but hopefully with this you’ll be able to tell us a little more about what they were doing down there and if there are more of you.” I nodded along with him hoping he wouldn’t notice my body shaking in fear. 

 

I was moved to yet another lab room but this one had less equipment in it. I stopped at the door as soon as I saw the large machine in the middle of the room. Lights blinked around the edges with a few monitors and nothing else but a chair sitting in front of it. Something about this room made my stomach tighten and heart race. My legs shook and I had to steady myself on a nearby desk, but something in my heart gave me the strength to eventually step forward. Mr. Stark placed electrodes on my forehead and temples and what looked like a helmet over everything, he pushed a few buttons and I could hear the hum of electricity surge through the helmet. The sound grew louder and louder until all I could hear was that buzz. White hot light blasted through my head and a pressure began to build inside my head until it felt as if my head would explode then everything went dark. 

 

I woke up again in another hospital bed hooked up to more monitors. With every movement pain shot through my whole body tensing every muscle, but I fought to open my eyes. It took a few tries as the light was almost too much to handle. Once I could open my eyes enough to focus on my surroundings I looked over to see Wanda, my best friend, sitting in a chair beside the bed.

 

“Wanda…” her name scraped up my throat and it came out as nothing more than a hoarse whisper, it felt so dry I couldn’t swallow. 

 

Wanda looked up from her chair. Tears ran down her face and she breathed a sigh of relief. “Y/N… oh my god Y/N!” She jumped from the chair and hugged me as tight as she could sending more pain through me but I didn’t care I had my friend back. “What happened to you? How did you end up with Hydra?” She pulled back but never lost contact as if afraid I would disappear if she let go. 

 

“It was shortly after you and Pietro- Pietro! Where is he? Is he here?” I looked around the room and out the windows hoping to see his carefree smile. Wanda placed a hand on my cheek forcing me to look at her again.

 

“Pietro died Y/N, he died saving the world.” Sadness clouded Wanda’s eyes but there were no tears, she had already made her peace with it. 

 

“No…” I brought my hands up to my face and suddenly our breaths came out in clouds. The temperature dropped and icy snow began to fall, a blizzard forming around us. The wind picked up inside the small room sending papers flying and knocking paintings off the walls. Tears fell and froze on my cheeks as a sadness I had never felt rose in my chest. 

 

“Y/N! Please!” Wanda cried over the winds that whipped our hair. “We need you to calm down. You need to stop this!” Her hands glowed red and suddenly I was transported back to our early days before everything. Pietro and I sitting on the grass holding hands as we watched Wanda throw stones into the lake. I stood from where we were sitting and joined Wanda by the water’s edge. We couldn’t have been more than fifteen. I was filled with a sense of peace as I relived the memory and when I came back to reality the blizzard had stopped and I broke down to tears, ragged breaths wracked my aching body as I cried into Wanda’s shoulder. 


	3. Chapter 3

I had to spend another few days being monitored by both Tony and Bruce to determine I wouldn’t turn on anyone. I was told it had happened before and they weren’t taking any chances but no one would tell me who it was. 

 

Once they were confident I wouldn’t freeze anyone in their sleep I was allowed to sleep in an actual room. It was different than the last one. For one, it had windows and was much bigger. I was given access to many of the floors in the compound including the common area, kitchen, and gym but I spent most of my time in the room afraid of how the other people here would react to me and not knowing if I would hurt someone if I couldn't control my powers . The time spent outside of the room was always with Wanda. She was my anchor keeping me grounded. She held my hand as I told them all that had happened to me in the HYDRA compound. 

 

“I went looking for Wanda and Pietro after they disappeared.” I sat at a long table with Wanda beside me. Almost everyone in the compound showed up for this meeting, except for the man with the metal arm. For that I was grateful, the memory of his cold eyes still stuck in my mind, and I wasn’t sure if I could face him again. 

 

“No one would tell me where they had gone,” I continued. “Or even knew anything but it wasn’t like them to just leave without saying anything. So I searched for them for weeks until I came across a fortress no one even knew existed. I would’ve gone back for help but they found me and…” I trailed off as the memories of the torture they inflicted came to the surface. I choked back tears as I wrapped my arms around my body and watched as frost began to form on the table. I saw everyone tense and give each other concerned looks but no one moved. I felt Wanda’s arm wrap around my shoulders and that was enough for the temperature in the room to return to normal.

 

“Do you know if there was anyone else they were holding?” One of the men eventually asked I think his name was Rhodey.

 

I shook my head, “there were others but they would eventually disappear. I’m the only one left.” Tears flowed freely down my cheeks now.

 

They pressed me for more answers but there were still holes in my memory and with each question I grew more and more tense.

 

“Ok, I think that’s enough for today.” Someone finally said, interrupting the stream of questions. 

 

Everyone hesitated but eventually nodded and dismissed me. I trembled against Wanda as she helped me back to my room. I crawled under the sheets as soon as I could with tears still streaming down my face. Wanda sat on a chair beside my bed and told me about everyone in the compound as a way to distract and comfort me. 

 

I learned the man I had the altercation with that first night was named James Barnes, Bucky to everyone here, a super soldier created by HYDRA they called the Winter Soldier. He had been brainwashed and conditioned into carrying out missions for them. It was possible that I would have been on my way to being brainwashed if I was still there. The thought sent a shiver down my spine.

 

Then there was his best friend Steve Rogers, Captain America, another super soldier created by the United States government during World War II to combat HYDRA. “They have a long and complicated history,”

 

Clint and Natasha were the team assassins known as Hawkeye and Black Widow. Not a lot of people knew what their story was and no one wanted to be the first to ask. But asking wouldn't necessarily get you a straight answer anyway so there was no point. 

 

Bruce Banner, I learned, had an alter ego he kept hidden. Not for his protection but for everyone else's. “Don't make him angry. Things don't end well for that person.” I had a hard time seeing it though, he had such a timid demeanor. 

 

Thor, the god of thunder, would stop by from time to time. Wanda told me he was in charge of many different realms which explained why I hadn't seen him yet. 

 

Then there was Tony Stark, Iron Man. Not much needed to be said about him. He wore who he was on his sleeve. He was loud, always cracking jokes with the others whenever he was out of his lab which wasn't very often. I was convinced he slept in that lab. “He works non-stop on his suits and gadgets for the team.” 

 

Sam Wilson was another friend of Steve. Everyone called him The Falcon. He wasn’t a super soldier but he was military before joining the Avengers.

 

And finally Vision, an android created by another android who wanted to destroy the earth to save it. Wanda didn’t need to tell me that he was special to her, I could see it in her eyes when she spoke about him. 

 

After weeks of being at the compound, I was still having nightmares. I’d wake up screaming, covered in ice and snow. I didn’t always remember the nightmares but the feeling of horror was all too real. So it became a habit to walk the dark halls of the Avenger’s compound when I couldn’t sleep. The feeling of moving forward was comforting.  I never turned on any lights when I walked around, I didn’t want wake anyone up or run into anyone else in the compound, I wasn’t ready to meet everyone yet. 

 

After a particularly bad nightmare, I found myself sitting on the couch staring at my hands. That shimmer from before ran across my hands and up to my forearms like a frosty pair of gloves. 

 

The sound of a refrigerator door opening made me jump and I ducked lower on the couch to hide. I could hear someone rummaging around and slowly I raised my head to peak over the back of the couch to see who it was. I sat there on the couch half hunched over and watched as Bucky Barnes poured himself a glass of orange juice. He placed the jug back in the fridge and I watched as the light from the light glinted off of his metal arm. There was a dangerous air about him that never seemed to go away even as he drank the orange juice. He took a couple more gulps from his glass before saying in english: “You don’t need to hide, I know you’re there.” He looked up and made direct eye contact with me. I flinched under his gaze but straightened up. 

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare-”

 

“Yes, you did.” He gave a low chuckle that sounded more like a rumbled in his chest. “Everyone stares.” I could see now that he was wearing a tight henley with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. “You couldn’t sleep either?” He had come around the kitchen island and was making his way towards me. He eased himself down onto the couch to my right. 

 

I shifted my weight uncomfortably at the closeness and tried to make myself smaller, he must have noticed because he repositioned himself a little further away from me. “I keep having nightmares of what happened to me at the HYDRA compound.” I hugged my knees to my chest. The images of surgical instruments and bodies ran through my mind. 

 

“Yeah, I had nightmares when I got out too,” Bucky stated staring into his glass.

 

I looked up at him, a haunted look had taken over his features. It never occurred to me that he would’ve gone through something similar having come back from being brainwashed. “How long did it take for them to go away?” 

 

“I still have them.” He lifted his head and looked at me. “Not a night goes by that I don’t see the faces of the people I’ve killed. But it gets easier, they become more of a reminder to do as much good in the world as you can.” His eyes looked grey in the soft moonlight. “They experimented on you?” 

 

I nodded slowly. 

 

“They experimented on me too.” He lifted his metal arm and examined it then let it fall to his side.

 

Without thinking I reached out and lightly brushed my fingertips along the back of his hand feeling the cold metal underneath. I stared at the light dancing along its ridges. I looked up to see him watching me, his expression unreadable, and I quickly pulled back. “Sorry,” I mumbled my cheeks growing warm. 

 

The hint of a smile played across his lips. “Don't worry about it.” He stood up from the couch and made his way back to the kitchen to deposit the empty glass into the sink. “You should try to get some rest. The nightmares will get easier, I promise.” And with that, he was gone, down the hall most likely back to his room. 

 

I sat on the couch for a little longer before taking his advice and I stood up to make my way back to my room. I stifled a yawn as I crawled into bed and fell into a dreamless sleep for the first time in weeks.

 

\-----------------

 

Bucky looked back at the girl one more time before rounding the corner to his room. She was still sitting on the couch hugging her knees to her chest. This was the first time he had seen her since that night she tried to escape. He had opted out of going to the meeting where she told everyone what she knew. There was no reason for him to be there and he had better things to do. She was different than before, now she was timid, scared, trying to make herself as small as possible. After sitting with her he saw how frail she was. Dark circles lay under eyes and her hair looked thin and limp hanging around her shoulders. The shirt she was wearing hung off her shoulders and looked like it was three sizes too big for her. She looked almost like a lost child looking for her parents. 

 

The look on her face as she sat on the couch stayed with Bucky as he closed the door to his room. He knew what she was going through; having her life taken from her, her memories, the people she loved. She would never be the same again. He wanted to make sure no one would have to go through what they both went through. He wanted to help her, but he didn’t know how.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up the next morning feeling better than I felt since coming here. For the first time in months, I felt hope that I would be ok. I dressed in an outfit I borrowed from Wanda since I didn't have any clothes of my own, and I had only been wearing the shirts and pants provided by Mr. Stark. A week ago Wanda gave me the outfit for me to wear when I was feeling better. Today felt like that day.

I opened the door stepping into the hall and turned towards the kitchen where I could already hear the voices of other people. Slowly I pushed myself forward examining the faces as I stepped into the kitchen. Three people stood chatting and laughing around the island. That laughter stopped as soon as they saw me.

“Um...hi,” I said. No one moved.

The woman I now remembered from when I first woke up here smiled and walked toward me. “Hi, Y/N right? Tony told us you decided to go through with the memory restoration. I’m Natasha.” She now stood in front of me. “Can you understand me?” She asked hesitantly.

I nodded. “I’m Y/N.”

“Clint.” said one of the men raising a hand. “This is Sam.” He gestured towards the other man. He nodded to me in greeting.

Just then, Tony strolled into the kitchen clapped a hand on my back making me jump. “Looks like our resident snow queen is feeling better!” He poured himself a cup of coffee and turned around examining me. “You think you’re feeling well enough to show us what you can do?”

Panic twisted my stomach into a knot. I didn’t even know what I could do. There’s only one way to find out. A voice in the back of my head whispered. So I fixed Tony with what I hoped was a confident smile and nodded.

“Great! Meet me in the gym in 15 minutes.” Tony smiled.

“Ok, but I don’t-” I started to say but he was gone before I could finish. I turned to Natasha. “I don’t know where the gym is.” She laughed and led me down the hall towards the elevator. “Do you know where Wanda is?” I asked as I walked with her.

“She’ll most likely be down there already,” Natasha said looking at me. She eyed the dress I was wearing. “And is that one of her dresses?”

I smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, she gave it to me because I don’t have any clothes of my own. She said we could shop for some of my own clothes once I start to feel better.” I hoped today could be that day, I was getting tired of wearing sweatpants every day.

We walked the rest of the way in silence until we got to two large doors. “Here’s the gym the change rooms are on the other side. Good luck.”

I watched as she walked away. She was small like me but I could tell she was strong. Her movements were graceful and confident, there was no hesitation in her step at all and I hoped I could get to that point. Instead, I tiptoed around the place like a child trying not to get in trouble for being out of bed at night.

Facing the doors again I took one steadying breath before pushing open the doors. I instantly found Wanda off to the left. Her hands glowed red as she practiced her movements. Off in the distance, I saw Steve sparring with Bucky. The way they moved looked almost like a dance. They were both very large, muscular men but they moved with a grace I didn’t expect from either of them. As I watched the exchange it was apparent that neither of them was able to land a hit on the other, both seemed equally matched with each other.

“Y/N?” Wanda touched my arm and I looked at her. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better.” she smiled at me as she pulled me into a hug.

I hugged back tightly. “I haven’t felt like this in so long. Tony wants to see what I can do.” My stomach twisted again, I didn’t know what to expect and panic began to rise in my throat.

Wanda hugged me again, “You’ll be great. Come on I’ll help you get ready.” She led me across the room past weights and various exercise machines. As we walked I heard Tony’s voice over the speakers.

“Cap, Barnes. Wrap it up. Miss Elsa here is going to give us a demonstration.”  
“Why does he call me Elsa?” I asked as I stepped into a workout jumpsuit I found sitting on the bench in the change room. The material was lightweight but felt sturdy enough.

Wanda laughed, “She’s a character in a movie who has similar powers as you.”

“Hmm,” I tied my hair back into a loose ponytail and zipped the jumpsuit up to my neck examining myself in the mirror. I was amazed at how form fitting it was, everything else I had tried on in the past was too big.

I walked back out into the gym with Wanda beside me and saw, to my amazement, that all the equipment had been removed. I scanned the room not knowing what they were expecting me to do. Was I supposed to just run around shooting ice from my fingers? I felt Wanda place a hand on my shoulder and I looked at her.

“Don’t worry you’ll be fine and I’ll be right up there.”

I followed her finger to a viewing room which, to my shock, was filled with people. Apparently, this wasn’t going to be a private showing. She gave me one last look of encouragement before walking toward the door.

I took a deep breath and walked out into the middle of the floor bracing myself for whatever was going to happen. I felt a tingle in my fingers and looked down to see frost covering my hands up to my forearms. The sound of panels opening in the floor made me look up and I saw dozens of robots climb up from the holes surrounding me. One more look up to the viewing room I saw Wanda, we locked eyes, and she gave me a nod. Then looking back at the robots around me I instinctively sank into a half crouch and it started.

\-------

Half of them surged towards me and I ducked, rolling to the side. My instincts fully taking over. Everything was a blur but I kept moving. A robotic hand closed around my upper arm and I grabbed at it freezing it instantly. I pulled my arm away and the hand shattered. Cool, I smiled as I moved on to the next one. I didn’t know how long this went on, I threw icicles, and I froze whatever I could get my hands on. I even threw a few punches but they just kept coming. A few were able to land a few blows but not enough to knock me down.

As soon as I cut one down another took its place, and after a while, I could feel the ache in my muscles, my movements slowed and they began to overpower me. One jumped on my back and brought me to my knees, another punched my cheek, I spat blood and punched back but I was too slow and I felt a kick to my stomach. After that, I could feel them pile up on top of me. The weight grew with each robot and became suffocating. I squeezed my eyes shut and curled into a tight ball. My short breaths coming out in clouds as the air grew colder and colder. I felt a surge of power build in my chest, the pressure continued to grow until it suddenly blasted out of me in the form of shards of ice shredding everything within a three-foot radius.

I stayed like that, curled up on the floor for a few more seconds waiting for another attack but nothing else came. I sat up and looked around, sparks flew from various parts lying on the floor, ice slowly melted into puddles on the floor. I looked up at the viewing window as I got to my feet. “Um...sorry.” I looked around at the destruction again and winced as the pain in my side slowly became apparent.

\--------

“Is this really a good idea Tony?” Bucky heard Steve ask as he stood with his arms crossed staring out the window into the gym. “She looks like she can barely stand, I mean look at her!”

“I agree, it looks like she could use some extra meat on her bones but we don’t know exactly what she can do. Don’t you think that’s important information if she’s going to be staying here?”

“I spoke to her last night,” Bucky spoke up. “I don’t think she even knows what she can do.”

“Oh, a little late night rendezvous?” Tony laughed and winked at Bucky who only scowled at him. “Well anyway, now’s her chance to learn something about herself.” Tony tapped a few keys and started a program. “Let the games begin.”

Panels in the floor opened and at least three dozen robots surrounded the girl. “Woah Tony! Don’t you think this is a bit much?!” Steve exclaimed. Bucky tensed as he saw the number of robots, each one had at least a foot on her and he agreed with Steve, she looked so fragile compared to them.

“Relax Rogers! She’ll be fine. The jumpsuit will record all her vitals as soon as she’s in trouble I’ll turn it off.” Tony stood in front of a monitor that indeed had readings of her temperature, heart rate and many others that Bucky didn’t care to understand.

Bucky was just about to join Steve in the protest when he saw her fighting. At that point, everyone had come to the gym to watch and all stared in amazement as she fought off each threat.

The fighting went on for almost an hour and a half and with each new attack, Bucky wanted nothing more than to go down there and fight them with her. A protective rage began to grow in his chest as each minute passed. He resorted to pacing the length of the viewing room his eyes never leaving her image on a large screen. As soon as he saw her get taken down he marched back up to the window. “Shut it down.” He growled.

“Not yet.” Tony looked at the monitor then back to the window. “Her core temp is -100 degrees and dropping.” The amazement was apparent in his voice. 

Before Bucky could do it himself there was an explosion of ice sending the shards outwards in all directions shattering into a thousand pieces.

“Holy shit…” Steve was the first to speak. “What the hell did they do to her over there?”


	5. Chapter 5

“I guess that shopping trip isn’t going to happen today” I stated as Wanda helped me out of the jumpsuit and back into the clothes. Pain burned in my side with each breath. I brushed the hair away from my face that had been pulled from the pony tail during the fight. I examined the scratches and cuts on my face and gingerly touched one of the deeper ones. “I may need stitches,” I remarked as Wanda came up behind me. 

 

“You did really well.” She said, her eyes gleaming. “Better than anyone could have expected.” I smiled at her compliment. I finished getting changed and followed Wanda out. “Steve says you’ll need to train with someone to learn physical fighting but you are very powerful. Now let’s get you checked out.” 

 

I made plans with Natasha to learn how to fight three times a week. And in the following months I fell into a routine. I would practice for 6 hours a day mostly with Natasha but there were times when she was away on a mission so she was replaced by either Clint or Steve. I noticed at times Bucky wouldn’t be too far away, watching. 

 

I welcomed the lessons, they helped to keep my mind busy and away from the horrors still haunting me, but the nights were tougher. With nothing to occupy my mind those memories came to the surface. On the nights where it was impossible to sleep, I wandered the halls memorizing every little detail. For the most part, I found myself sitting on the couch in the common room staring at the tv as shows or movies flashed across the screen. 

 

One night I decided to see why Tony kept calling me Elsa and settled down to watch _Frozen_. I sat curled up on the couch watching the movie when I felt a presence approach from behind me. I looked up to see Bucky frowning at the screen.

 

“Sorry, is it too loud?” I asked moving on reach for the remote to turn down the volume. “I couldn’t sleep and I was curious about this Elsa Mr. Stark keeps talking about.” 

 

His eyes didn’t move from the screen as I spoke, he just stood there with his arms crossed watching Elsa sing Let It Go. He rounded the couch and sat down with me never taking his eyes off the screen. “I’ve never seen this before.” He stated after a few minutes. 

 

I smile crossed my lips, “Me neither.” neither of us spoke after that, we just sat in silence watching the movie. When the credits rolled, Bucky turned to me, never uncrossing his arms from his chest. “Is this the kind of movie you like to watch?” His question caught me off guard. 

 

I blinked at him for a few seconds before finally answering. “I-I don’t know,” I mused. “There are still a lot of gaps.” 

 

There was another pause before Bucky spoke again. “You did really well against Tony’s machines.” I looked up and saw that he was looking directly at me. That was months ago, were people still talking about it?

 

“Um...thanks.” I pushed my hair away from my face trying not to meet his eyes. “Most of it is a blur.” I absentmindedly touched the small scar that had formed on my cheek from a blow to the face during that fight, feeling the slightly raised skin I wondered if this would be my only scar obtained in battle. _Probably not._

 

To my surprise, Bucky reached out and cupped my cheek with his metal hand and ran his thumb over my scar. It felt warm against my skin, I closed my eyes at his touch and a shiver ran up my spine. “Are you afraid of me?” 

 

I opened my eyes and shook my head as I took his hand into my own. “Did it hurt?” I watched as the dim light from the tv screen played across the metal panels of his arm. 

 

\--------------

 

Bucky didn’t know what had possessed him to reach out and touch her cheek. But when he did she didn’t shy away. Ever since he went full Winter Soldier a few years back everyone except Steve still regarded him with some level of caution as if they were afraid something else would set him off again. He hated it but he understood it, after spending time in Wakanda they assured him that last remnants of Hydra’s influence was gone but no one was fully convinced. 

 

“It did at first,” he said softly, answering her question. “Hydra has never been too concerned with comfort only effectiveness.” His hand still lay inside Y/N’s own. “They fixed it in Wakanda, I can feel more now.” He saw the look of confusion on her face and quickly added. “I was there to get rid of the brainwashing. That’s how Tony got the machine that gave you your memories back, he wanted to be prepared for the next brainwashed Hydra assassin I guess.” 

 

“Do you run into a lot of those?” She asked, a calmness he hadn’t felt in a long time had settled over them as they sat on the couch facing each other.

 

She was looking healthier, he noted. Her cheeks didn’t look so hollow and she no longer looked as if she would collapse at any second. The months of training had helped her gain some strength but she was still very thin. She reminded him so much of Steve before the serum. Her eyes held too much fierceness for her small body. He guessed that was what sparked his feelings of protectiveness and the connection he felt with her from their shared experiences with Hydra. Dark circles still lay under her eyes as an indication that she still wasn’t sleeping. Bucky wanted nothing more than to save her from these nightmares.

 

They stayed like this for two more hours talking about the experiences they’d had at the hands of Hydra. It wasn’t until Y/N stifled a yawn that Bucky realized exactly how late it was. “Get some rest kid.” 

 

He got up to leave when he felt her hand grab onto his wrist. 

 

“Will you stay with me?” She looked up at him from the couch. Bucky hesitated running a hand through his hair before nodding. He sat back down and watched as Y/N laid down pulling a blanket from the back of the couch. She laid down with her feet towards the armrest and her head resting on a pillow beside his leg. 

 

He watched as her breathing became rhythmic, and he listened to her soft snores as he turned the tv onto a mindless sitcom before falling asleep himself. 

 

\------------------

 

I awoke to someone gently shaking my shoulder and softly calling me to wake up. I opened my eyes to see Nat’s face smiling at me. We had formed a friendship during our time together as she trained me. My time that wasn’t spent with Wanda was spent with her. She had a quiet strength about her that made me want to be like her. 

 

“Good morning sleepy head,” She chuckled.

 

I looked around as I sat up momentarily disoriented and saw that Bucky was no longer with me on the couch. “Where is everyone?” Normally the kitchen and common room was full of laughter and the smell of frying bacon in the mornings but today it was only me and Natasha.

 

“Getting ready. A couple missions came up and you’re coming with us.” 

 

That’s when I saw the bundle of fabric she was holding. Panic stopped my heart. Was I ready for a mission? 

 

“We’ll be right with you, you have nothing to worry about,” Natasha reassured me, sensing my feelings. “Tony made this for you,” she added, holding the bundle towards me.

 

I tried to smile as I took the outfit and hurried to my room to change. It was very similar to the jumpsuit I wore during my demonstration except this one seemed to shimmer much like my hands when I used my powers. The neckline was lower than before and there were no sleeves. I slipped on my combat boots and a light blue leather jacket I bought on one of my few outings.I pulled my hair back into a bun and gave myself once last look. Satisfied, I stepped out and joined Natasha in the hall. “How do I look?”

 

She eyed the jacket and smiled. “Like a superhero.” 

 

I had to admit being in a suit made by the genius Tony Stark did make me feel more confident and I held my head a little higher as we walked down to the hangar where everyone else had gathered going over the plans. 

 

“Looking good Y/N!” Tony called to me once we had joined the group. He wasn’t in his famous Iron Man suit so I could only assume he wasn’t joining us on this mission. I looked around and saw that only Natasha, Steve, and Bucky were dressed for battle. 

 

“This is a simple infiltrate and dismantle.” Steve began, calling us to attention once we were in the air. “We’ve caught wind of a new threat here in New York. They call themselves The Hand-” 

 

Natasha snorted a laugh. 

 

“Right...” Steve continued. “They’ve been terrorizing an area called Hell’s Kitchen.”

 

“Why haven’t we heard of them before?” Bucky interjected reading the list of offences. 

 

“Because someone by the name of Daredevil has been keeping them contained, but they’ve grown beyond Hell’s Kitchen now and he needs our help. Bucky, you’re with me. Natasha, Y/N stick together.” 

 

Everyone nodded and as we started to descend, the panic from before began to rise in my throat, my only hope was that I'd be able to pull this off. We touched down in an empty lot and as soon as we stepped out into the open something whizzed through the air towards me, too fast for me to react. I braced for the impact but nothing came, a hand shot out and caught the projectile, which I now saw was a dagger, before it pierced my heart. I looked to the side to see a man in a red suit with a mask covering the top half of his face. Everyone reacted at the same time, Bucky already had his gun out and [shot](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/2040762317713078/) the assailant. Natasha pulled me down as everyone ducked for cover behind the quinjet. 

 

“Cap,” The man nodded towards us.

 

Steve nodded in return, “Daredevil.” 

 

We quickly hashed out a plan of attack and moved to enter the building. Bucky and Natasha laying down cover fire as Steve, myself and daredevil sprinted for the entrance. Once inside I could see who we were up against... freaking ninjas. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *the gifs I've used in this chapter are not my own.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the later than usual update! these past few weeks have been super hectic. Funerals amirite? Also midterms are kicking my ass.

Honest to god ninjas. I would have laughed if it wasn’t so quiet. Ice climbed up my arms and my heart pounded in my chest as I watched them circle us, like sharks ready to strike. Then they did. All at once. Fists, swords, daggers flew through the air. I held my arms up to protect my face and fought against the onslaught as best I could. This is what they trained me for all these months to fight and protect my teammates. I blocked hits and threw punches. Eventually the sound of gunshots told me Nat and Bucky had joined the fight. 

 

We fought our way further into the building and down into a basement where the lights flickered and live wires sparked from the ceiling. The only sound were our hushed footsteps as we made our way down a long hallway and into a room that held at least 20 barrels 

 

I stepped further into the room and found a table with pages strewn haphazardly across its surface. The closer I got I saw blueprints and what looked like chemical equations and outcomes. 

 

"What is this?" I mused as I leafed through the sheets looking at the various diagrams and order sheets. I hadn’t noticed Daredevil coming up behind me until he reached out and ran his fingertips across the pages with his ungloved hand. 

 

"It looks like they’re planning to make some kind of chemical bomb." He turned towards one of the barrels and ran his hand over the label. "Nitrogen Trichloride," he muttered to himself. "They are planning a big bomb."

 

"I see you’ve brought friends this time." A new voice sounded from behind me and I spun around ready to fight again. The bottom half of the man’s face was covered but I could see from where I was that he was scarred. Chemical burns maybe? It didn’t matter. He drew his own weapons which looked like large curved knives on thin chains. 

 

The fight was over almost as soon as it started. In the chaos one of the barrels was punctured and yellow very pungent liquid spilled onto the floor. Then all it took was a spark. From what I didn’t see but what I did see were the greenish flames as they spread over the liquid and black smoke filled the room

 

"We need to go now!" I yelled as I tried to suppress the flames with ice. I ran for the door grabbing everyone I could and pulling them with me the flames grew and I tried to create a wall of ice between us and the fire. 

 

The five of us sprinted through the door and down the hallway just as explosions sounded in the room behind us. After third explosion the ceiling began to fall around us. Cracks began to snake their way along the ceiling after the second explosion  After the third, pieces began to fall around us. Up ahead I could see Steve holding his shield above his head to protect himself and Nat against the pieces raining down on us. 

 

I was hit in the arm and gritted my teeth against the pain. My heart hammered in my chest now and as I looked up to see how much of the ceiling had fallen but as soon as I took my eyes off the floor I lost my footing. One badly placed step and I stumbled falling further behind everyone else, until a pair of hands grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled up; it was too dusty to see who had helped me but I held on tightly to the hand as I clamoured over chunks of concrete. 

 

We made it to the door but didn’t slow until we could all see sunlight. As soon as we made it outside one final explosion rocked the ground and I braced myself for the entire building to collapse but nothing came. We stood outside catching our breath when I realized I was still holding someone’s hand. I looked over to see Daredevil gasping for breath, he gave me a small smile as I quickly let go o this hand. 

 

"Sorry, and thanks for, you know, back there." My cheeks grew warm as I gestured to the building through the slowly settling dust. He nodded before turning to Steve to shake his hand.

 

I followed Bucky back towards the quinjet leaving Steve and Nat talk to him. My body trembled with the last of the adrenaline coursing through my veins as we walked and collapsed into the nearest seat. I don’t know how long I sat there staring at my hands, the dirt and blood contrasted with the frosty shimmer still dancing over my skin, when I heard Steve and Nat join us. She took a seat beside me giving me a wide smile and we were back in the air in no time. Mission accomplished. I guess.

 

\----------------

 

As soon as we got back to the compound I headed straight to the bathroom for a shower. I had blood and dirt everywhere, itwas smudged over my face and tangled my hair. _How am I going to clean this?_ I thought to myself as I stepped out of the jumpsuit. I wet a face cloth and began attempting to spot clean the suit before throwing it down the laundry chute and moving on to my jacket. This one was harder to clean; the blood had crusted and left faint brown stains all over the sleeves and bodice. 

 

Giving up, I threw the jacket in the corner by the door and started the shower. It took almost an hour for me to completely scrub myself clean and when I finally opened the door to the hallway steam billowed out around me. I stopped short when I saw Bucky leaning against the wall waiting to get in. His brown hair tied back in a messy bun. A few strands had fallen out and hung around his face. He was staring at the floor lost in thought and didn’t seem to notice me standing frozen to the floor in front of him. 

 

"Sorry, I didn’t know you were waiting." He looked up at the sound of my voice, blue eyes meeting mine. I pulled my bathrobe tighter around my body and quickly looked away. I suddenly felt exposed under his gaze.

 

“All the other showers were occupied.” 

 

I hugged my dirty jacket closer to my chest as I stepped into the hall, closer to Bucky. “This one's free now.” I offered. 

 

He gave a dark chuckle, “thanks doll.” He moved toward the bathroom door and I quickly stepped out of his way. “You...uh…you did good today.” He said turning back to me. 

 

I blushed and smiled at his praise. “Thanks.” I tucked a lock of damp hair behind my ear and made my way back to my room. As I walked I could hear footsteps catching up to me and when I looked behind me I saw Wanda approaching with a smile on her face.

 

“They tell me you did really well, Y/N!” She gave me a small one-armed hug as we continued down the hallway. “I also heard you have a date.” 

 

I stopped dead in my tracks. “A date?! With who?” I asked staring at Wanda in shock. 

 

She just shrugged. “Ask Natasha. She’s the one who set it up.”

 

“Of course!” I cursed.

 

“Oh come on Y/N. You have to admit you’ve been spending a lot of time by yourself.”

 

“That’s not true! I talk to people.” An inexplicable anger rose in my chest 

 

“Really?” Wanda raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “The only time any of us see you is during training. Who could you possibly be talking to so much?”

 

“Um, Bucky.” Looked down at the floor as I said his name. I hadn’t told anyone about our late night talks and it was clear he hadn’t either.

 

“Ok well, either way, I think it would be good for you to go out and have some fun. You’ve gotten a handle on your powers so there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be going out enjoying life.”

 

“I guess you’re right.” I wrapped my arms around myself. The thought of being out in public still scared me. “So when is this date?” I resigned.  

 

\----------------

 

The next day I stood in front of my mirror eyeing my outfit. The ripped jeans and black tank top hugged my thin figure the only thing that didn’t cling to my body was the black and white kimono style [robe](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/AfIQ05ZirtTjZ-W6gr-phBqsUG4nRCycezRiYk4PpAR_3-IBMyQfS7A/). The high heeled boots I wore gave me an extra three inches in height.

 

Both Nat and Wanda sat on my bed smiling to each other. I had gotten closer to Natasha during our time training and the three of us had been spending more and more time together. It felt good to be able to trust people again.

 

“It’s so nice having another woman around here,” Nat remarked as she stood up to fix my hair. “You look gorgeous.”

 

“You think?” I smiled at her. Excitement twisted my stomach, I almost felt normal. 

 

“Ok, so he’s going to meet you at the restaurant. Tony’s arranged for a car to drive you wherever you need to go.” Wanda clasped a small delicate necklace around my neck.

 

 

“So you’re really not going to tell me anything about this guy?” I asked turning towards Nat. The anxiety was creeping its way into my head making my hands shake.

 

“Y/N relax. He’s a really nice guy.” Nat said as she gave my shoulders a squeeze. 

 

“Ok fine let’s get this over with.” I took a deep breath and turned for the door, walking very carefully to avoid twisting an ankle. It was going to take some time to get used to the heels again, but I was getting the hang of it. I made my way through the compound with Nat and Wanda trailing behind me giving me tips and advice on what and what not to do on the date when we ran into Sam and Bucky in the kitchen.

 

“Wow, Y/N you look great,” Sam remarked setting down a bowl of cereal. “You ladies going out?”

 

“Y/N is going on a date.” Wanda laughed.

 

“A date?” Bucky spoke up. “With who?” I looked at him and saw something flash in his eyes and his jaw clench. 

 

“It’s a blind date, all I know is that he’s a lawyer.” I shrugged. “Blame Nat, it’s all her doing.” Despite my anxiety about the upcoming date I smiled. Some part of my old self had awakened. 

 

Suddenly Bucky stood up from the stool he was sitting on and without saying another word walked out of the kitchen. I watched as he disappeared around the corner and gave Sam a confused look.

 

“Don’t worry about him, he’s always grumpy.” Sam waved a hand in his direction. “If this guy gives you any trouble let me know and I’ll mess him up for you.” He winked at me.

 

I laughed. “Thanks but I think I’ll be ok. He wouldn’t stand a chance against the Snow Queen.” 

 

Sam laughed and went back to his cereal as I continued to the front where I could see a black car with tinted windows waiting for me.

 

“Have fun.” Wanda wished me as she gave me a hug.

 

Nat laid a hand on my shoulder. “Remember: no matter how much you like this guy _do not_ put out on the first date.” 

 

I rolled my eyes at her and got in the car. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: descriptions of torture, angst,

Bucky stormed up to Natasha as she and Wanda walked back into the compound after seeing Y/N off on her date, grasped Natasha’s arm and pulled her into an empty room. He saw the look of concern on Wanda’s face as he closed the door but at the moment he didn’t care.

“What the hell, Natasha?” Bucky growled at her as he turned to face her.

“What?” Natasha stood tall with her hands on her hips meeting his eye. She looked annoyed.

“You set Y/N up on a date? What the hell were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that she needed to get out of this place for a while and maybe have some fun. She’s been so quiet since she got here and it’s time for her to get some of her life back.”

Bucky crossed his arms in frustration. “By setting her up with someone she doesn’t even know?”

Natasha laughed, “You guys met him yesterday. And besides anyone outside of this compound would be someone she’s never met.”

“What do you mean we met him yester- wait. That asshole?!” The realization hit Bucky like a ton of bricks.

“He’s a really good guy, he helped me a while back and it seemed like he liked her. They worked well together on the mission.”

“Ok, but you could’ve found someone who didn’t run around the city dressed up as- what is he even supposed to be the devil?!” Bucky knew he was yelling now as he paced the room in front of Natasha.

“Oh come on! I think it’s cute. Why does this bother you so much anyway?” She watched him with her arms crossed and a knowing look in her eye.

That stopped Bucky in his tracks. He whipped around to face Natasha. “Because...she’s been through a lot. She might still need more time to fully heal from everything.”

Natasha stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Bucky, it’s been seven months. She’s made a lot of progress and gained a lot more confidence. She’ll be fine.” She fixed him with a knowing look. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you have feelings for her.”

Bucky blanched. “I- I just want to make sure she’s ok. I don’t want to see her get hurt!”

“Uh-huh.” Natasha looked at Bucky unconvinced. “Well until you’re ready to admit your feelings, she’s going to live her life with or without you.” She pushed past Bucky to the door and stopped with her hand on the doorknob. “And don’t you dare say anything to her that would wreck things for her.” With that, she was gone leaving Bucky alone with his thoughts.

————————

“I had a really nice time tonight, Matt.” I stood at the door to the compound facing him.

“Me too, I’d love to maybe do this again.” Matt smiled, placed a hand on my waist and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. As soon as his lips touched my skin something awoke in my chest and a hunger took hold of me. Turning my head ever so slightly our lips met in a passionate kiss. My arms wrapped around his shoulders pulling him closer. Distantly, I heard the sound of his white cane hitting the ground as his own arms snaked around my waist.

I could feel a hand tangle in my hair and suddenly Nat’s words broke through the fog clouding my brain: No matter how much you like this guy do not put out on the first date. I broke the kiss and took a step back, panting slightly. My cheeks felt warm as I looked at him, a small dazed smile played across his lips as he stood in front of me. I quickly picked up the cane and pressed it into his hands.

“I’d love that.” I pressed one more kiss to his lips before turning and rushing for the door.

A grin spread across my face as soon as I closed the door behind me. Suddenly Wanda and Nat were at my side ushering me further into the compound asking me how the date went. We sat on the couch as I told them everything.

“You were right Nat. I forgot what it was like to have fun, I almost felt normal.” I smiled again thinking about the kiss. “Oh, and you could’ve at least told me he was Daredevil!” I lightly punched her arm.

“And ruin the surprise? So how was the kiss?”  

I laughed. “Of course you’d be watching.”

Nat shrugged, “I had to make sure he didn’t try anything.”

“It was really good. I haven’t kissed anyone in a long time.” My cheeks flushed as I relived the moment. “He took me to his favourite bar after dinner and we just talked. He’s really sweet-”

At that moment Bucky rounded the corner to the common room and hesitated in the doorway when he saw me sitting on the couch with Nat and Wanda. A look of shock flashed across his face before he quickly composed himself.

“Hey.” Bucky rolled his shoulders as he continued his way into the kitchen. “How did it go? Are you going to see him again?”

“It went really well, and I hope so.” I blushed, smiling at the thought.

Bucky nodded stiffly, got what he needed and walked out without another word. Something tightened in my chest as I watched him disappear around the corner. My high from the date quickly disappeared after that, I excused myself saying it was getting late and that I was tired. Once in my room I took off the heels and robe and crawled under the blankets, as soon my head hit the pillow I realized exactly how tired I was and hoped for a dreamless sleep.

I wasn’t so lucky. Electricity crackled around and through me, my body tensed and pain blinded me with every jolt. Then I was fighting. Faceless figures swarmed around me landing blows that were too fast for me to block. I was kicked in the chest knocking the wind from my chest and I fell backwards, my head hit the ground hard and my vision blurred. When I tried to get back up something tugged at my wrists and ankles and I knew I was strapped to a table. I tried to breathe but instead choked on a tube that ran its way down my throat into my lungs. The lights above me were harsh and cold and I could feel gloved hands poke and prod my bare skin. I felt the cold steel and the burning that followed as it cut into my flesh. Tears streamed from my eyes as I tried to scream but nothing came out.

Then I woke up.

My throat felt raw as I gasped for air, the feeling of the tube lingered and it took me a minute to catch my breath. I searched my body for the cuts I still felt on my skin but found nothing and let out a shuddering breath. I glanced over at the clock. Two hours. I was only a sleep for two hours. My body shook from the adrenaline so I got up from my bed and began my nightly routine of walking through the dark halls trying to escape my nightmare. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't realize where I was going until I found myself pushing though the gym doors.

The room was empty, dark, and cold. Perfect. Without turning on the lights I found a punching bag and hit it as hard as I could. The pain in my knuckles was a nice distraction from the terror I felt so I kept going in the hopes that the feeling of dread that hung over me like a cloud would subside.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: angst, jealous Bucky,

Despite the nightmares being with Matt changed things. I gained more confidence and was finally able to feel like an Avenger. I went on more missions, ate meals with everyone, and even fought crime with Daredevil. But I never stayed the night with him, he understood but I could tell he was disappointed. 

 

Bucky kept his distance when he could. He rarely spoke and wouldn't stay in the same room alone with me anymore, I couldn’t figure out why. Everyone I asked would assure me that this was normal behaviour for him and that I shouldn’t worry, so I tried to put it out of my mind. But I had considered us friends and every time I saw him a pang of sadness shot through me.

 

A few weeks later I was in the gym sparring with Nat when I decided to try a new sequence of moves. She had me in a headlock when I suddenly pitched forward and rolled to the side knocking her off balance, I jumped on top of her pin her down with my body. I had one hand holding her wrist above her head and my foot pinning her other hand to the mat with my other hand on her throat. My hands shimmered with power every time I sparred but I never used it. 

 

Nat tapped out and I released my hold and rolled off of her. She sat up and we both took a minute to catch our breath. She turned to me with a smile on her face.

 

“Where did you learn that?” She asked massaging her throat.

 

“Matt.” I simply said smiling at her. He had shown me some moves during our time together.

 

“Of course.” She said shaking her head. “Speaking of Matt, how are things with you two?” We both stood and faced each other again waiting for the other to make the first move. 

 

“We’re good, really good.” I smiled and feigned right and moved to the left trying to get behind her but she saw my plan and moved against me. 

 

“Predictable. If they see you coming, they can stop you.”

 

I nodded and we squared up again and she made the first move this time. I deflected her advances and made a few of my own.

 

“Have you two had sex yet?”

 

“What?” My mind went blank, I faltered and she attacked, easily taking me down and pinning me to the floor. 

 

“You need to be prepared for anything. In battle, they will come at you from all sides many will try to distract you to gain the upper hand. But more importantly; what’s Matt like in bed?” Nat winked before sitting back. 

 

“I- we, uh.” I stumbled over my words trying to create a coherent thought. 

 

“You haven’t yet, have you?” 

 

I fixed her with a hard look and got to my feet. “No. We haven’t. Now come on! Are we doing this?” I raised my hands in front of my face bouncing from foot to foot ready to move at a moment’s notice. 

 

Nat laughed but instead of standing to face me she went for my legs. Sweeping her legs under me I jumped out of the way and she sprang to her feet. I blocked her punch and saw an opening: I shot my hand out and caught her in the side just under her arm. We exchanged blows and every once in a while one of us would get past the other’s defences; she caught me in the chest and I landed a hit to her thigh. I quickly hooked my foot around her knee kicked it out from under her, twisted her arm behind her back and looped my arm around her neck squeezing just the smallest amount, enough for her to feel it. 

 

“Good,” she smiled as I released my hold on her. “Are you bringing Matt to Tony’s party this weekend?” She stood and dusted herself off.

 

“I didn’t even know there was a party this weekend but I’m sure he’d like to come. He’s been asking about you guys.” I smiled at the idea of Matt meeting everyone in the compound, I worried about them not getting along too. I had grown close to many of them and now considered them my friends.

 

Nat and I walked towards the change rooms chatting about who would most likely be at the party. I lost track of the conversation when we passed the weight machines and I caught a glimpse of Bucky lifting what was probably five times my weight with Steve spotting him. Heat rose in my cheeks as I watched them. Steve looked up to see me staring and I looked away quickly trying to focus back on Nat.

 

“Are you ok?” She asked sensing my distraction.

 

“Yeah, I’m good. Just trying to think of what I should wear to the party.” I lied giving a weak smile and continued to the change rooms.

 

\--------------------

 

“Have you spoken to Y/N recently?” 

 

The question caught Bucky off guard, he paused before lifting the bar one more time to place it on it’s rack and sat up.

 

“No. Why?” He asked in return wiping sweat from his face. In reality he hadn’t really spoken to her since she went on that date. It didn’t feel right for the two of them to share such intimate details about their lives anymore, he felt that privilege should be reserved for the man in her life. He didn't want to say the wrong thing to her; and if he was being completely honest with himself it seemed like she no longer needed his help. He saw how happy she was now, laughing with the team, gaining confidence in everything she did. He was happy for her, truly, it made his heart swell at the sight of her almost dancing down the corridors when she thought no one was around. But it also broke his heart when he remembered that he couldn’t be the one to give her that happiness. Sure, he helped her on that journey of recovery but she had found her happiness with other people. 

 

Bucky didn’t look at Steve when he came to sit down on the bench beside him. “Come on, man. You need to tell her how you feel. I see the way you look at her, this is eating at you, Buck.” Steve placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 

 

“I don’t need to tell her anything.” Bucky finally looked at his best friend and he knew that Steve could see every emotion that was tearing at his insides. “She’s finally happy and I can’t risk doing anything to take that away from her. Besides telling her wouldn’t change anything.” 

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, I see the way she looks at you too. I haven’t said anything because this is something she needs to hear from you.” 

 

Bucky sighed in resignation, “Yeah, you’re right. Punk.” He ran a hand through his hair and stood up to make his way to the change rooms trying to think of what he would say to her. And he’d have to say it soon before something else changed his mind. 

 

After a quick shower and a change of clothes Bucky made his way to Y/N’s room. He could hear her talking to someone through the door and by the sound of it she was on the phone with Matt. He could tell by the easy tone she had when she talked about him. Her laugh alone was almost enough to make him walk away but Steve was right, he needed to say something or it would keep eating at him until he resented her and lost her forever.

 

With an almost pained groan he knocked on the door. _There’s no going back now._


	9. Chapter 9

“Yeah, I’d love to go.” I could hear the smile in Matt’s voice as I talked to him on the phone.

 

“Ok great.” I smiled back and proceeded to give him the details of the party. We talked for a couple more minutes and laughed when I heard Foggy yell at Matt to get back to work. As we said our goodbyes I heard a knock on my bedroom door. 

 

I opened the door to see Bucky standing on the other side. He had changed out of his workout clothes and now wore dark jeans with a grey t-shirt. “Can we talk?” He asked.

 

It took me a second to respond but eventually I stepped to the side to let him in and stood by my bed and watched as he paced the length of my room. I got nervous when he didn’t say anything. “Is everything ok?” This was the first time he had spoken to me in weeks. When he continued pacing I stepped in front of him and forced him to stop and look at me. “Hey, Bucky, what’s going on?” 

 

“Are you happy, Y/N?” Bucky asked abruptly.

 

“What do you mean? Of course, I’m happy here.” I lead him to the bed and sat down beside him. 

 

“No, I mean are you happy...with him?” 

 

I blinked in shock at the question, and when I didn’t answer right away he looked up at me. There was a softness in his eyes that I had never seen before. “Um...yeah.” I nodded slowly. “Yeah, I think so. He’s really sweet and we get along really well.” 

 

Bucky looked back down at his hands and nodded. “Ok. I’m happy for you then.” He got up to leave.

 

“No, hey, wait!” I jumped up from the bed and followed Bucky out into the hall. “What’s this about?” I reached out as he walked away but as soon as I was able to close my hand around his arm he pulled away.

 

“Don’t...just don’t worry about it.” He turned away from me and before I could say anything else he was gone. 

 

I let out a sigh in frustration and turned back to my room slamming the door. A few seconds later I heard another knock on the door. I yanked the door open. “What do you want now Buck- oh, sorry.” 

 

Wanda stood in front of me and gave a concerned look, “Is everything ok?” I stepped back to let her in and went to sit on my bed again. 

 

“It’s Bucky, he’s been acting really weird lately and I don’t know why!” I put my face in my hands and shook my head. “I mean he comes in here asking if I’m happy with Matt then storms out when I give him an answer.” 

 

Wanda sat next to me listening to me rant. “Hmm, he’s probably just being protective of you.” She offered. “I heard him tell Steve that you reminded him of what Steve was like before he became Captain America. I think he just wants to make sure you’re ok.” 

 

“I guess, I just wish he still talked to me.” I huffed out a breath and decided to change the subject. “So what are you planning on wearing to the party?” 

 

Wanda grinned, “Come on I’ll show you.” She took my hand and led me to her room where she pulled out an elegant floor-length [ dress](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/379498706090853414/) made out of very soft fabric that swayed with each movement. “What are you going to wear?” She asked when the dress was replaced back in the closet.

 

My face fell slightly. “I don’t know.” I thought back to what I had purchased during my one shopping trip with Wanda. “I don’t think I have anything that is fancy enough.” 

 

Wanda responded by rummaging deep in her closet and pulling out a [ dress](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/AYUGxBXPFX3-KnVy4sfLbi3KmSK8O5tTF1OwcaVIAssBWNOhZWHP6od5qgl2a4Qh0ORkPl8G2Ey46wgZOTa3aBk/) that I had never seen her wear before. “Vis gave this to me a few months back and I never got around to exchanging it for something in my style. Try it on.” She handed it to me and I held it up to my body trying to gauge its size. 

 

“Wanda, are you sure?”

 

She shrugged, “We used to share clothes before there’s no reason why we can’t now. And if it fits you can have it. Don’t worry about Vis, he’ll understand.” Wanda interrupted my protests. 

 

“Thank you.” 

 

“You’re welcome.” Wanda kissed my cheek and pulled me into a hug. “And Y/N don’t worry about Bucky, he’ll come around eventually.” 

 

I thanked her again and walked back to my room feeling better having talked to her about it.

 

\-------------

 

I didn’t see Bucky at all the next few days leading up to the party. He was nowhere in the gym when I walked in to train with Steve and I couldn’t help the sinking feeling in my stomach. 

 

“You ready?” Steve asked as I stepped into the sparring ring. 

 

I nodded and got into position, we circled each other for a few seconds when suddenly Steve’s fist shot out towards my head. I just barely ducked out of the way but as I avoided his fist his foot hooked behind my leg and knocked me off balance. I stumbled backward but quickly recovered. I jumped towards him on the offensive now but he easily and quickly deflected my attacks. We went back and forth a few more times, each attempt to land a hit was stopped and with each try I was getting more and more frustrated. 

 

Steve tried to give pointers but I heard none of them, all I saw was red and before I knew what I was doing my fist was covered in ice as I swung at Steve. This one connected with his face and he stumbled backwards stunned at the blow. He brought a hand up to his lip which had split and was now bleeding. 

 

“Oh, shit. Steve, I’m so sorry!” I gasped realizing what I had done. “Are you ok? I don’t know what came over me. I just got so frustrated.”

 

Steve gave me a small smile. “Don’t worry about it Y/N. You can’t let your feelings take over and cloud your judgment like that. If that were to happen on a mission people could get seriously hurt, including you.” 

 

I nodded, Steve was always turning issues into teaching moments. “Ok, I’ll try to focus.” I shook my head to try to clear any useless thoughts and focused on Steve again. He was dabbing at his lip to clear the blood and we went back to training. He decided to cut the training session short today so that we had time to get ready for the party.  After apologizing about five more times, I left to get ready. 

 

I walked towards the bathroom in my bathrobe and held my towel under my arm. I was halfway down the hall when the bathroom door suddenly opened and Bucky walked out in nothing but a pair of sweatpants hanging low on his hips. He turned away from me and walked down the hall. I froze and just stared after him. I had never seen him without a shirt before and for the first time I saw that his entire left arm and part of his shoulder was metal. My heart broke at the thought of what he must have endured from Hydra. My own memories of what I went through came to the forefront of my mind and I shivered. If my own pain was any indication of what Hydra could do he had been through hell and still fighting. I waited until he was out of sight before continuing to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the party. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: elements of cheating, smut, angst, violence, minor character death, 
> 
> a/n: this is a long one :) also please don't judge my choice of name for a certain character (you'll know who it is)

The party was in full swing when Matt arrived and I rushed to greet him at the door. We kissed in greeting and I guided him into the main area. “Foggy says hi,” Matt said as I led him through the groups of people talking and laughing. I smiled and caught sight of Nat and Clint talking by the bar.

 

“Come on, there are some people I want you to meet.” I pulled him towards the bar and introduced him to my friends.

 

“Matt this is Clint, and you already know Nat.”

 

They shook hands and started talking as I broke away to order drinks for us. When I rejoined them Clint was telling a story about how I nearly froze the pipes in the bathroom the first week I was here. Matt laughed and wrapped his arm around my waist as he kissed my temple.

 

“Thankfully that hasn’t happened at my place yet.” He kept his arm around me as we chatted and I introduced him to more of the team.

 

Steve was polite and shook hands, his lip had stopped bleeding and looked like it was healing but it was still swollen. I apologized again. Tony offered to build Matt a pair of glasses that would help him to see like Geordi in Star Trek, to which Matt politely refused saying he got around just fine. Wanda hugged him telling him how happy she was for us. After a few more drinks and introductions the last person I needed to find was, of course, Bucky, but my hopes weren’t that high since he had been avoiding me for the past month.

 

“So what do you think?” I asked once we found a semi-private place to sit and talk.

 

“You fit in really well here,” Matt stated before taking a sip of his wine. “Wanda is your friend from childhood, right?”

 

“We grew up together, yeah,” I said nodding,

 

“And what about this Bucky I’ve heard so much about?” He gave me a coy smile.

 

I sighed, “I don’t know anymore he’s been acting weird and avoiding me.” But at that moment I saw Bucky walk into the room and join Steve at the bar. “Actually never mind, he just walked in, let me get him.”

 

I patted Matt’s arm as I walked past him and found Steve and Bucky talking to Thor about his thousand-year-old Asgardian ale. Bucky was laughing and I took that as a good sign but as soon as he saw me approach his smile vanished. “Hey guys, how’s the party?” I asked as I joined the group. Thor looked down at me and smiled.

 

“Y/N you look very beautiful tonight. Barnes, does she not look beautiful?” Thor nudged Bucky who gave a tight smile and looked at me.

 

“She always looks beautiful.”

 

My heart skipped a beat at his remark and I had to look away to hide my blush. “Um...Matt and I found a place to sit and I’d love for you to meet him.”

 

Bucky looked towards the area I had pointed to then looking back at me with a hard look in his eyes. “Haven’t I already met him?”

 

I fixed him with a playful glare. “You met Daredevil, I want you to meet Matthew.” When he hesitated I grabbed hold of his hand. “Come on, everyone else has met him and he’s been asking about you.”.

 

“Ok fine.” He downed his drink and allowed me to lead him to where Matt was sitting.

 

“Bucky this is Matt. Matt, Bucky.”

 

Matt stood up from his seat and extended a hand but Bucky didn’t take it. “It’s nice to meet you Bucky. Y/N speaks very highly of you.”

 

Bucky arched an eyebrow at me. “And that doesn’t bother you? Your girlfriend speaking so highly of another man?”

 

I stared at Bucky in surprise and Matt’s smile faltered slightly. “Uh...should it?”

 

“I guess that depends on how confident you are in your relationship.”

 

“Bucky!” I warned but he shook his head took a step towards Matt.

 

“Let me tell you something: there are a lot of people here who cared very deeply for Y/N. If you do anything to hurt her, I can personally guarantee that life will be very hard for you.” Bucky clapped his metal hand on Matt’s shoulder. “It was great meeting you I hope you enjoy your evening.” He gave me one last look before he turned and walked away through a door leading away from the crowds.

 

“Well, he seems nice.” Matt stated in surprise after a few seconds.

 

“Oh my god.” I exclaimed as my eyes followed Bucky out the door. “I’m so sorry, he’s not normally like that. Are you ok to mingle with everyone for a bit I just want to talk to him.”

 

Matt smiled and kissed my cheek, “Go. I’ll be ok.”

 

I gave him another kiss before running after Bucky. I found him sitting on the bottom steps of the staircase away from the party goers. He looked at the sound of my footsteps and stood up to walk away but I moved to stand in front of him, blocking his way and forcing him to look at me. “What the hell Bucky! Why are you acting like this?”

 

Bucky crossed his arms. “Does it matter?” He looked me right in the eye and that softness I saw earlier in the week was gone. He tried to move past me but I put my hands up to his chest and pushed back.

 

“No! You do not get to walk away from me right now!” I was almost yelling and I could see a few people at the edges of the party look in our direction so I pulled him further down the hall and into an empty room. “Tell me what’s going on, Bucky. I miss you. You’ve been avoiding me for weeks and I don’t know what I’ve done to upset you.” I had to blink back tears. His face never gave away his emotions but his eyes showed a war that raged inside him.

 

“It’s nothing you’ve done Y/N,”

 

“Then what is it? Let me help.” I reached out for his hand in an attempt to show him I was serious but he pulled away again and looked at me.

 

“Y/N stop. You’re with Matt.”

 

“What does he have to do with this?”

 

“He has everything to do with this!”

 

“Bucky please, I don’t know-”

 

Suddenly he closed the space between us in one step and pulled me against his body. His lips were on mine so fast that it almost knocked the wind out of me. It took a second for my brain to recover from the shock but then I sank into the kiss. Thoughts of the party outside vanished, it was only me and Bucky. My hand gripped his bicep while the other rested on his chest as one of his hands held my waist and the other ran up my back into my hair. He kissed me with an urgency I had never felt before as if he was afraid I’d disappear at any moment but he was also very gentle. His hand moved from my waist up my body to cup my breast and I gasped against his mouth at the feeling of his hand move against the fabric. This was never how it felt when I was with Matt.

 

My eyes flew open and gasped again. “Shit!” I pushed against Bucky and took a step back. “Oh god, Matt!” I looked around the room and finally realized it was a bedroom like the one they put me in the first night I was here. I ran to the attached bathroom and groaned at the sight of my hair. The up-do I had for the party was ruined so I pulled all the pins and let my hair fall around my shoulders. As I tried to fix my makeup, Bucky came up to stand behind me. I glared at him in the mirror and he frowned, recoiling from the chill that filled the room.

 

Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks as I emerged from the bathroom, Bucky was gone and I took a deep breath to steady myself before rejoining the party. I scanned the large room looking for Matt and found him talking with a small group of people I didn’t know across the room. I weaved through the crowd towards him and slipped my hand into his when I reached him.

 

“Hey, there you are I was starting to think you and Bucky ran off together.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss my cheek but I stood there frozen to the spot. “What’s wrong?” He asked sensing my hesitation.

 

“Let’s get out of here,” I said pulling him towards the door and into the crisp autumn air. The fresh air was like a shock to the system and helped to clear my head as I breathed in the cold air, but nothing could clear my head of that kiss. I took a deep shuddering breath and turned to face Matt. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

 

“That's fine we can go somewhere else if the party is too much for you right now.” He reached forward to rub my arm.

 

“No, I mean this." I gestured between the two of us, then remembered he couldn't see me. "Us.” Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.

 

Matt nodded as he understood. “It’s Bucky. Isn’t it.”

 

My breath hitched at the sound of his name. He touched my hand and gave me a sad smile.

 

“It’s ok, I had a feeling. He likes you too.”

 

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why put yourself through this?” My voice quivered.

 

“You needed to figure it out for yourself. I hope you find your happiness.” Matt gave me one last kiss on the cheek before walking away. “Take care of yourself Y/N.” As soon as the door closed behind him I broke down. The tears ran freely down my cheeks now, I sank down onto the grass as the sobs wracked my body.

 

“Y/N?” I jumped at the sound of my name. I turned around to see Bucky standing at the door. I furiously turned back around and stared out over the large expanse of the lawn.

 

“Are you happy now?” The sun had set some time ago but orange light still streaked across the horizon. “Matt just left.”

 

“I’m sorry Y/N I never meant for this to happen. I thought I could handle seeing you with him but turns out I couldn’t.” I heard his footsteps rustle in the grass as he stepped forward. “You must be freezing.”

 

I shook my head refusing to look at him, “I don’t get cold.”

 

Bucky sat down next to me and I bowed my head so my hair would fall forward blocking him from view. “I really am sorry.” He began, “I’m sorry, I made a mistake.”

 

My heart stopped and the air grew colder around us. “So kissing me was a mistake then?!” I stood up and walked away from him leaving frozen footsteps in the grass. By now my tears were frozen to my cheeks and frost spread through the grass.

 

“No Y/N. That’s not what I meant.” I heard Bucky call after me. I could hear his footsteps crunch the frost on the grass but I kept walking until I reached the edge of a small forest and the trees obscured the light from the compound.

 

“He said you like me too, is that true?” I whipped around to face him and crossed my arms. It had started snowing and a blanket of snow now covered the ground where we stood. Snowflakes swirled in the light breeze around us and caught in my hair and on his eye lashes.

 

Bucky came to a stop in front of me, he sighed and put his hands on his hips. “Yes.” He said after a few seconds.

 

I looked up into his blue eyes and found that softness I had only been once before. “Why didn't you say anything before?” I whispered.

 

Bucky took another step forward and placed his metal hand on my cheek. “It took me too long to figure it out.” I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch. “I never meant to cause you any pain, Y/N.”

 

I looked up at him and dabbed at my eyes, careful not to smear what was left of my makeup. The snow had stopped falling but still clung to our hair and skin, I took a step closer to him and leaned up onto my toes to brush my lips against his. He responded instantly by pulling me closer. He kissed me with the same urgency as before. I hardly noticed the rough bark of a tree scraping against my skin as his fingers ran across the neckline of my dress. My skin felt warm wherever he touched me and I moaned against his lips.

 

He moved his way down to press kisses against my jaw then my neck leaving me breathless. I looked out through the trees as he continued to kiss my neck and chest and froze when I saw a figure move in the distance. Bucky stopped when he felt my body stiffen and straightened up looking around. I grasped his arm and pulled him to the ground just as the bark from a nearby tree exploded.

 

I looked up to where the bullet came from and found nothing. We quickly sprang into action and slowly moved further into the cover of the trees. Bucky pulled a knife from his boot and ice slithered up my arms ready to strike. Another explosion from a tree near my head pushed us further back. Bucky's eyes darted around trying to get a sense of where our attackers were coming from.

 

Suddenly I felt the barrel of a gun press against my back and the edge of a knife against my throat. I glanced at Bucky and found he had the same. Our eyes met and l nodded, then at the same time Bucky threw the man over his shoulder and into a tree. Just as I grabbed hold of the knife to my neck and twisted until he let go while at the same time stepping out of the way of the gun to reach for his other hand but was too slow and a bullet grazed my side. I yelped in pain as a knife flew past me and into the man's chest.

 

Bucky rushed to my side ripping off his jacket to hold it to my side. He pulled the knife from the man's chest just as more figures stepped out from the shadows pointing guns at us.

 

“You left us too soon, Y/N.” A chill ran down my spine and my head whipped around to see a man step out from the shadows. “You were not ready to join civilization yet. Come home with us we will complete you.” He motioned for his men to separate us.

 

They pulled at our arms and Bucky immediately punched one of them holding him but was quickly tackled to the ground by three more men. They wrestled the knife out of his hand and pressed a gun to his temple. The pain in my side was all but forgotten.

 

“Bucky.” My voice quivered as I watched it all happen, afraid he would be shot. His eyes met mine and I shook my head pleading him to stop. I could see the rage in his eyes, he was ready for a fight.

 

“Now, now. There's no need for secret plans I'd hate to have to put you down.” The man gripped my chin and pulled my gaze away from Bucky. “Besides, I'm sure Mr. Barnes would rather rejoin the party?”

 

“Don't touch her!” I could hear Bucky struggle against the men holding him down.

 

“What do you want, Ketch?” I demanded through gritted teeth.

 

“You, my dear.” He let go of my face and I fixed him with a had glare.

 

“If I go with you will you leave them alone?” His smile made my stomach twist. “I will go with you if you and your lackeys leave everyone else alone.”

 

“Y/N…” Bucky was cut off when the butt of a gun connected with his nose with a sickening crunch.

 

“Tell Wanda I'm sorry,” I whispered as someone placed some kind of collar around my neck and as soon as the ends snapped shut I could suddenly feel the chill in the air. My powers were gone. They put me in handcuffs too, for good measure I guess.

 

I was pushed forward and forced to fall into step with the team of men that now surrounded me. Blinking back tears I could hear Bucky struggle to follow us, but we didn't get far before I heard the pop of a silenced gun. I stopped in my tracks and my blood ran cold as I looked back to see a figure slump to the ground. I knew in my heart it was Bucky lying motionless on the ground and a primal scream ripped through my throat. Rage, pain, and fear erupted in my chest as I threw myself against the wall of bodies behind me. Arms wrapped around me holding me in place but that didn't stop me from kicking and struggling against my restraints. I managed to kick a few heads and break some noses before a needle stuck into my arm and my vision faded to darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone for sticking with my story and I'm glad that you're all enjoying it so far! also comments or any kind of feed back are always welcome and encouraged :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: minor character death, blood, torture, 
> 
> feedback is aways welcome :)

Bucky watched as Y/N was taken away, all while fighting anyone in his path. He snapped the neck of one man and broke the leg of another when he broke free. He heard a pop and suddenly pain exploded in his side. He collapsed to the ground holding his abdomen as blood seeped through his fingers. He heard a scream in the distance and fought to stand again but his vision blurred with the pain and blood loss.

 

When he opened his eyes again he was still lying on the ground but he was alone now. The man named Ketch and his men were gone, so was Y/N. He slowly sat up and inspected his torso. The bleeding had stopped but the wound and pain were still there, the serum could only do so much. He gingerly got to his feet gritting his teeth against the burning in his side and turned towards the compound. It looked a thousand times further than before.

 

With each step, pain shot through his body but he eventually made it back to the compound. The party was in full swing and no one noticed when he stumbled through the side door. Thankfully, Steve was nearby talking to Sam who caught sight of Bucky. They both rushed to his side and helped him into a chair away from the party to avoid a panic.

 

“Buck, what happened?” Steve asked as he inspected Bucky’s wound. His pain had subsided to a dull throb and was almost healed.

 

“They came back for her.” He said through gritted teeth. “Y/N. She’s gone.” Bucky stood and threw the chair against the wall leaving a hole in the drywall. He stood there staring at the hole in the wall for a few seconds before turning to face Steve. “We have to go after them! They want to finish what they started with her.”

 

Steve placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. “We will Buck, but you need to calm down. We won’t get anywhere with you like this. Sam, see of you can get everyone, we need to figure this out.”

 

Sam nodded and quickly left.

 

“What do you know?” Steve turned back to Bucky.

 

Bucky was taking deep breaths in an effort to clear his mind. “His...his name is Ketch,” Bucky said slowly. “He’s in charge. I think they have a facility here in America I could hear his men speaking english.”

 

Steve nodded just as Wanda burst through the door closely followed by Natasha, Clint, and Tony.

 

“Y/N was taken?!” Wanda looked between Bucky and Steve who both nodded. “Do you know who took her? Why do they want her?”

 

“Wanda…” Vision had appeared in the doorway and now had his arm around her in comfort.

 

Steve recounted everything Bucky had just said to everyone else and they quickly went to work. Wanda’s eyes and hands glowed red as she used her powers to tell everyone at the party to go home. Tony ordered Friday to scour the internet and every file they had on Hydra for anyone named Ketch. Natasha and Clint were on their phones immediately calling contacts for any information they could get.

 

Steve lead Bucky to the door. “We'll find her Buck. But first, let's get you cleaned up.”

 

\------------------

 

“No one is coming for you, my pet,” Ketch stated as I was strapped to a table and a piece of machinery placed over my head. “There's no sense in fighting, I promise, once we're finished you'll be happy here.” He grinned at me as I fought against my restraints, the collar was still around my neck rendering me powerless.

 

 _He’s lying._ I told myself. _They would notice our absence and go looking for us_ . _They would find Bucky and know something was wrong._ The image of Bucky lying dead on the ground flashed in my mind and I let out a cry of rage and pain.

 

At that moment a switch was flipped and my brain felt like it was being melted. I screamed and strained against the straps holding me down. This continued until I screamed myself hoarse or passed out. Then I would be brought to a room with just a bed and a toilet. This repeated until I barely knew who I was anymore. The majority of my memories had faded to nothing but simple feelings.

 

\----------------

 

Two weeks passed and they were no closer to finding Y/N. Natasha’s informants had nothing new to tell her, Steve and Bucky interrogated every Hydra agent they could lay their hands on but found no leads and Bucky was finding it very hard to hold onto the hope that they would find her.

 

“I may have found something,” Tony reported as they returned to the compound. He was standing at his desk swiping through pages of reports. Bucky sat down at a table and began cleaning his gun as Steve joined Tony.

 

“These are satellite images of a building in Canada that doesn’t exist in any official document or article.”

 

“Do we know if she’s in there?” Steve asked zooming in on one of the images.

 

“There’s no way to know for sure but someone is definitely in there.” Tony pointed to an area on the screen that revealed a figure entering the building.

 

“It’s the only lead we have,” Steve straightened up. “Natasha, you’re with me, we’re going to stake out the area. Everyone else, stand by.”

 

Bucky watched the exchange in silence and once Steve and Natasha made a move to leave he stood up.

 

“I’m coming with you.” But before he could take a step Steve blocked his way.

 

“Buck no, you’re too close to this. We don't even know if she's in there.”

 

Bucky fixed him with a hard glare. “Steve, if this was Peggy would you be ok staying back to watch? I couldn't help her out there. I'm going to be there when we get her out.”

 

They stood there for a few more seconds silently challenging each other, until Steve finally stepped back allowing Bucky to follow Natasha through the door. “Wheels up in ten,” Steve informed them before heading in the direction of his room to gather some supplies

 

Bucky did the same and packed as many guns and knives into his outfit as he could. When he walked through the doors to the hangar he saw Wanda talking to Natasha near the quinjet and joined them.

 

“Bring her home,” Wanda said giving Bucky a hug, he nodded and joined Natasha and Steve in the quinjet. Bucky sat in silence as the other two planned a way to get in and out. Once the jet was landed a safe distance away from the building the small team began their mission.

 

Natasha entered the building first scouting any guards in the way and taking them out on her way to the security room. When she gave the all clear, Steve and Bucky followed with her directing their path.

 

“She’s here,” Natasha confirmed as soon as they reached her. “It looks like they’re holding her three floors down. We should call the rest of the team and let them know what’s going on.”

 

Something seemed off, Bucky stared at the monitor watching as she screamed and fought against her restraints. The room she was in was very similar to the one he was held in for so long. Then it hit him, “We need to get her out now!” Bucky reached across Natasha, he zoomed in on the machine that was attached to Y/N’s head.

 

“Buck, we can’t just go storming in there to get her. We’re outnumbered and outgunned, we need backup.”

 

Bucky straightened up and faced Steve. “They’re not just suppressing her memories like they've done with me or her before,” he pointed at the screen. “They’re erasing them altogether. Once her memories are gone not even Wakanda will be able to get them back.”

 

Both Natasha and Steve stared at Bucky in shock for a second before jumping into action. Steve instantly updated the team while Natasha went through various surveillance feeds and scouted the best way to get to Y/N.

 

\---------------------------

 

Time seemed like a distant concept, minutes felt like hours and hours felt like days. They made sure to keep me in the dark most of the time and no one would talk to me. They barely even looked at me, I was property to them something they could bend and warp as they pleased. I tried to use their comings and goings as a way to get a sense of how much time had passed but lost count of how many times they strapped me to the table and sent shocks through my brain and body. Every time the door opened a small spark of hope that they would come for me bloomed in my chest. However, I was having a hard time remembering exactly who _they_ were and eventually even that hope I felt began to fade.

 

My feet dragged on the cold floor as I was pulled towards the room after a particularly bad session. The man holding me up swore under his breath and picked up his pace to the point where he was literally dragging me, he pushed me inside before closing and locking the door again. I crawled to my bed which was just a thin, perpetually damp mattress lying on the floor in the corner. I rolled onto my back and tried to blink away the stars clouding my vision. I barely registered the shouts and gunshots that seemed to shake the whole room

 

A pounding in my head had started and I rolled onto my side facing the wall trying to get as comfortable as this mattress would allow. When suddenly a loud bang sounded behind me and I realized that the pounding wasn’t inside my head, it was at the door. I rolled over again to see what was happening and was met with a dark figure standing in the doorway. In the dim light I could see that his right hand held a gun and his left was...metal. I looked up at him frozen in place, but amidst the fear, a sense of familiarity filled my chest. I had seen that cold look in those eyes before. I've watched the light glint off that metal arm before.

 

“Y/N, it’s me, Bucky. Can you understand me?” The man slowly stepped into the room with his hands raised. I nodded staring at him with wide eyes. The sound of his voice awoke something in me and I found the strength to sit up. “Steve and Nat are here too. We’re here to take you home.” He searched my face as he held a hand out towards me.

 

“Bucky?” The name felt familiar on my lips and the coldness in his eyes melted to something softer stirring a long lost feeling in my chest. Another man appeared in the doorway and shouted something at us but before he could finish Bucky had raised his gun and shot the man between the eyes. The loud pop startled me into action. I scrambled to my feet and fell into his arms, I could hear him breathe out a sigh of relief as he held me close.

 

“Y/N, we need to go.” He released me but didn’t let go of my hand. “I got her, Steve, we’re making our way out.” Bucky looked down at me and hesitated, eyeing the collar around my neck. “I can remove this. You’ll get your powers again.” He touched the collar with his metal hand and I tilted my head back allowing him to close his fist around it and squeeze until it broke.

 

The collar fell away from my skin and suddenly the chill I felt in the air disappear. Ice climbed up my arms and frost covered the walls as our breath fogged out in front of us. I still felt weak but my legs were now able to carry my own weight and I straightened up as best I could, nodding to him. “Let’s go.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: some fighting and blood mention,

Bucky smiled and wrapped his large hand around mine before pulling me into a light jog. I stumbled on some of the rubble at first but was able to catch my footing and keep up. We made our way up staircases, through corridors, and past countless doors, never stopping. Anyone we met along the way was either shot or blasted away with shards of ice. I didn’t see Ketch on our way out and I wasn’t even sure if he was here anymore, there was a good chance he got out once he realized Bucky was here.

 

It didn’t take long for us to reach the front doors, then we were outside and I was taking my first breath of fresh air in what seemed like forever. We slowed to a stop once we were under the cover of the trees surrounding the building and I bent over, chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath. A short distance away I caught sight of some kind of jet. 

 

“Is that yours?” I asked looking up at Bucky and he nodded. Just then a red-haired woman and a blond man came crashing through the brush. I shot up straight ready for another fight when the woman immediately  pulled me into a tight hug. I stiffened at the contact but didn't pull away. 

 

“You good?” The man asked, I could see in the dim light that he was just as tall and muscular as Bucky. 

 

“Let's get out of here,” Bucky said taking hold of my hand again and the four of us broke out into a run as shouts were heard behind us. We made it up the ramp and into the jet just as bullets ricocheted off the side of the ship.

 

The blond man immediately took a seat at the front and began flipping switches while Bucky led me to a bench on the opposite side of the cabin. He sat down next to me and peppered me with questions: Are you hurt? Do you know where you are? Do you remember who we are? 

 

I looked around the cabin of the jet that was now flying through the air and smiled at the woman in thanks when she handed me what looked like a protein bar and a bottle of water. I set them down on the bench beside me, the thought of eating was nauseating. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to sort out the various flashes and feelings running through my head. “I feel like I’ve woken up from a dream. The memories are fuzzy but I can still remember how I felt.” Bucky brought his hand up as if to touch my cheek but hesitated before letting it drop down to his side again. We sat together in silence for a while before he suddenly stood up without another word and walked over to stand next to the man in the cockpit. 

 

The woman came to sit next to me and gave me another tight hug. “What do you remember?” She asked gently. I felt safe with these people, I had no reason at all to trust them and yet I felt a sense of peace with them.

 

“Are we friends?” The small smile that turned up the corners of her mouth answered my question. 

 

“My name is Natasha, you call me Nat.” She began to explain. “You’ve been an Avenger with us for almost 9 months now. We don’t know exactly how much they messed with your memories but we think Shuri can help us figure that out. And Wanda will be relieved that you’re back she was so worried when they took you.”

 

I looked up at the sound of the name. “Wanda?”

 

“Do you remember her?” Nat grasped both of my hands. 

 

“I grew up with her and her brother. She was my best friend.” The pounding in my head made it very hard to concentrate, as soon as it felt like a memory would solidify it faded away. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bucky glance back at me every so often. “What about him?” I asked looking over at Bucky who now had his back to me.

 

“That’s a bit more complicated.” I looked back at her and she simply shrugged. “We’ll be back at the compound soon and we can see about getting some of your memories back. But right now you should get some rest, you’ve been through a lot.” Nat placed a hand on my shoulder as I leaned back and closed my eyes. I was exhausted and my body ached. 

 

——————————

 

Bucky glanced back at Y/N every so often, he watched as Natasha sat beside her speaking gently and comforting her. “Do you think she’ll be ok?” He asked turning to look out over the clouds passing by.

 

Steve kept his eyes on the console in front of him. “She’s strong, she’ll pull through. But we need to be prepared for the possibility that she won’t be the same.” He looked up and met Bucky's eyes for a second before turning back to the console.

 

Bucky sighed and nodded. That was exactly what he was afraid of, losing the woman he loved. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now it’s enough that she’s alive and with us again.” His thoughts were interrupted by Tony checking in and conforming with them that Shuri was on her way to the compound.

 

——————————

 

I drifted in and out of sleep on the way back and once we landed I distantly felt a pair of arms wrap around my body to gently lift me from my seat. I moved to rest my head on the person’s arm as I was carried from the jet. I lifted my head for a second and looked up into Bucky’s blue eyes. He offered a small smile but I could see the worry in his eyes. I smiled back before closing my eyes and resting my head on him again. He carried me through the building for a few more minutes then gently laid me down on a very soft bed. My head found the pillow and I hugged it as I curled my body around it. 

 

A hand gently brushed my hair away from my face and I opened my eyes to see Bucky kneeling beside the bed. 

 

“Rest for now, someone will be here to see what they did to you and we’ll see if we can reverse it.” He stood up and walked to the door.

 

“Wait,” I called to him just as he was about to walk through the doorway. “Don’t leave.” 

 

Bucky hesitated in the doorway for a second before closing the door. I watched as he removed his jacket and placed it on the desk. He eased himself down into the chair and leaned forward to pull the blanket over my body. “I’ll be right here.” He promised. 

 

His smile was the last thing I saw before the exhaustion took over and darkness descended. 

 

————————

 

When I finally woke up I kept my eyes shut tight. Some survival instinct told me that Bucky, Nat and the blonde man were a dream or the rescue was just a cruel joke played by my captors but as I focused my other senses on my surroundings I could sense that I wasn’t in a damp room. And I wasn’t alone. The bed underneath me was soft and warm and when I dared to open my eyes orange sunlight streamed in through the many windows. I didn’t know how long I slept for but if I had to hazard a guess, at least a day. 

 

True to his word, Bucky was still here. I watched as he sketched something in a notebook resting in his lap. He was leaning back in the desk chair, hair falling around his face and his brows furrowed in concentration. Warmth bloomed in my chest and I could have watched him for a few more minutes but he glanced up and his expression softened when he saw that I was watching him. The lines between his brows disappeared and the corners of his eyes crinkled ever so slightly with the gentle smile that spread across his lips. 

 

"Good afternoon." Bucky said in a low gentle tone as he set the notebook facedown on the desk.

 

"How long have I been asleep?" I sat up and stretched feeling almost every joint in my body crack and pop with disuse. 

 

"Roughly forty hours." Bucky checked his watch. "Are you hungry?"

 

As if on cue my stomach let out a loud gurgle and I clenched my abdomen as a wave of nausea took over. I threw the blankets off, vaulted towards the garbage can beside the desk and threw up. In a flash he was by my side, holding my hair and rubbing small circles into my back as I dry heaved into the can. 

 

Once my body was finished trying to expel literally everything in my stomach I gingerly stood up. Bucky stayed by my side as I made my way back to the bed and helped me sit. "Stay here." He commanded before rushing towards the door. 

 

Within thirty seconds he was back with a glass of water, a damp towel and a banana. I gratefully took the water and cloth but the sight of the banana made my stomach churn. "Natasha and Wanda are here with someone who can help with your memories." He spoke softly as I sipped the water relishing the way it soothed my raw and burning throat and it took another few minutes for the throbbing in my head to subside. Once I felt well enough, I slowly stood up with his help and let him lead me to the door and down the hall to where I could hear hushed voices. 

 

As we rounded the corner I found three women sitting on a couch. Natasha and the woman I vaguely recognized as Wanda sat with a third looked to be about 16 years old. She spoke confidently and gave a bright smile when she saw me. 

 

“Y/N, hi.” Wanda rounded the couch to stand in front of me. I gave her a weak smile.

 

“Wanda?” My heart pounded in my chest as she nodded slowly and I wrapped my arms tightly around her, we stood like this for a few minutes with tears in our eyes. It felt like I hadn’t seen her in years. I pulled away from her and studied her face, she was different, her eyes held the shadow of everything she had been through. But being in her arms again I felt, for a moment, like we were kids again playing and laughing without worry of the future. 

 

“How are you feeling? Do you think you’ll be up for some tests?” The girl asked giving me another bright smile and I nodded hesitantly. She introduced herself as Shuri, she had come from a country called Wakanda and was the one who helped Bucky get rid of his brainwashing. 

 

I opened my mouth to respond but before I could say anything, my chest tightened and I was sent into a coughing fit and when I pulled my hand away from my mouth I found flecks of blood painted across my palm. In that instant my vision blurred and I could feel myself sway where I stood. I barely registered Wanda taking hold of my hand.

 

“I don’t feel-,” I gasped trying to take a breath but that tightness in my chest remained. A loud buzzing built inside my skull as a chill ran down my spine. I could feel hands quickly move me to a soft surface, the last thing I felt was a pinch in my arm then warmth and darkness blurring the edges of my vision until I felt nothing at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know how you're enjoying the story so far :) I always welcome and encourage comments and feedback


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: blood, angst, 
> 
> a/n: I don't know if this is cannon but Bucky draws here

"What’s happening to her?" Bucky watched in horror as Y/N's body spasmed, blood dripping from her nose and speckled her lips. He looked to Shuri who was now scanning her body with devices he knew came from Wakanda. 

 

"She's going into shock, her organs are shutting down. Whatever they did to her back there is affecting everything not just her brain." Shuri worked quickly as she injected Y/N with some kind of blue fluid which stopped the spasms. "This will stabilize her for now but I need to take her to my lab."

 

Bucky nodded and gently pulled her from the couch into his arms. "I’m going with her," he stated to both Natasha and Wanda trusting they would update Steve when he got back from whatever mission he was on. Shuri and her guards led Bucky through the compound and into their aircraft where a table appeared from the floor of the cabin. He laid her down and as soon as Y/N was strapped in, a glass dome slid up and sealed her in as the aircraft rose into the air and sped off towards its destination. 

 

Bucky watched her chest rise and fall in shallow breaths afraid to look away in case she stopped breathing, even as Shuri sat down beside him to examine his arm. She lifted his hand and manipulated the arm to test its movement and range.

 

"The goats miss you." Shuri broke the silence after a few minutes.

 

"And how would you know that?" Bucky asked, his eyes still not leaving Y/N’s face. It had been a few years since he was in Wakanda and he wondered what happened to them after he left.

 

"You’re all they talk about."

 

That got his attention. His eyes snapped to Shuri in shock to find a mischievous smile in her face. He found it hard to believe that there was anything that would allow someone to talk to animals but then again it was hard to find a limit to what Wakandan technology could do, especially if Shuri was behind it. "You don’t have anything that can do that. Do you?" He spoke hesitantly then shook his head in disbelief when Shuri burst out laughing. Despite the situation Bucky found himself laughing with her, she was always good at lightening the mood.

 

"No we don’t but you should’ve seen the look on your face." She was still laughing as she checked Y/N’s vital reading on the glass around her. "Everything looks good, there’s no decline in her condition. When we touch down I’ll take her to my lab and work on her. I can’t tell you how long she’ll have to be like this but I’ll let you know as soon as something comes up. Your farm is still there if you wish to stay there while you're in Wakanda." 

 

Bucky frowned as his gaze made its way back to Y/N’s face her lips were parted ever so slightly and he could see her eyes dart back and forth underneath her eyelids. He wondered what she was seeing. "I should stay with her until she wakes up. She’s been through so much already I don’t want her waking up alone in another strange place. Even though we’re trying to help her she may not know the difference." 

 

"She means a great deal to you, doesn’t she?" Bucky looked back at Shuri to find her watching him. 

 

"You’re very perceptive for someone of your age. But yes does, she has for a while.” He gave her a sad smile and looked down at his hands. “I love her." He had never admitted this to anyone, not even Steve, yet here he was bearing his soul to a teenager. 

 

"Does she know?"

 

Bucky closed his eyes and sighed trying to keep his voice low and level, "no. And if there was ever a time when she loved me, she may not anymore." His hands shook from the rage that tore at his insides and cast a cloud over his heart. The very thought of what Y/N endured at the hands of Hydra made his blood boil. He wanted nothing more than to rip Ketch limb from limb.

 

"I’ll do my best to bring as much of her back as possible." Shuri promised as the aircraft began its descent.

 

Y/N was taken immediately to Shuri’s lab with Bucky following close behind. She was placed onto another table and Shuri went straight to work examining Y/N’s vitals and doing everything she could to stop her body from shutting down. Bucky paced back and forth watching her every move until she froze. His heart dropped. 

 

“What? What’s going on, why are you stopping?” Panic laced his words as he walked up to her.

 

Shuri turned on him with a frown on her face. “I can’t work with you pacing my lab. I will call you when you are needed.” 

 

Bucky started to protest but she pushed him away telling him he needed to calm down and he was led out by one of the Dora Milaje to a room off to the side. It was a luxurious room with a king sized bed, a red oak desk, and a fireplace with a couch sitting in front of it. The door closed behind him and Bucky resumed his pacing, unable to sit still for very long. His mind spun with the various scenarios that could happen if Y/N woke up. No. When she woke up. Best case would be she woke up with slight memory loss but ultimately the same woman he fell in love with. The worst case was that she died. As soon as that thought entered his mind he pushed it away, just thinking about that was almost too painful. 

 

Images of Y/N strapped to the table being examined and tortured filled his mind again and he flexed his metal hand as rage and fear coursed through his veins. The image of her lying on that musty mattress broken and in pain sent him over the edge. Momentarily blinded by rage he punched the wall. Over and over, he slammed his fist into the wall until small pieces crumbled from the hole that had formed in front of him. His ragged breaths wracked his body as he attempted to calm down, this anger he felt wasn’t helping the situation and he would now have to explain why there was a hole in Shuri's wall. 

 

After several attempts at deep breathing Bucky decided the best way to calm himself was to find a distraction. So he searched the desk for some paper and a pencil since the only thing he could think of doing in this room was to sketch something. Anything. 

 

\------------------------------

 

Bucky sat at the desk for hours. Pencil in hand he drew picture after picture. He drew her eyes, the profile of her face, the way her hair fell around her face. He couldn’t get Y/N out of his head and only stopped when the door opened again to reveal the same Dora Milaje who brought him here in the first place. She said nothing as he stood to follow her back into Shuri's lab. 

 

She was still at the table where Y/N was laid on and didn't turn to Bucky when he approached. “She's stable now. I've done my best to get her memories back but we won't know the extent of how much she lost until she wakes up.” She finally turned to him. “Now get some rest, you look like death. Are you sleeping?” 

 

Bucky gave a slight shake of his head as he stared at Y/N. She looked so fragile and vulnerable lying there. “I should stay with her-”   
  


“You’ve already said that.” Shuri was looking annoyed now. “There’s nothing you can do for her right now. Go get a decent night’s sleep and come back tomorrow I want to work on your arm.” She pointed towards the door ordering him to leave and Bucky simply nodded before turning to follow a member of the Dora once again. This time he was lead out of the palace out to the farmland where he found everything was as it had been when he had left it years ago. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment :) I like hearing what you think of my story ❤️


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: Blood, torture, sexual assault
> 
> a/n: I need to take a break from writing for a couple weeks I’m in the middle of exams now and really need to focus on passing but I’ll be back very soon :) Thanks for reading and comments are always welcome.

Images flashed behind my closed eyes. A horned devil, a crumbling building, fists and split lips, Bucky in a dark room, frost covered forest with hands grasping at my arms from the darkness closing around my throat, then cold and blood and pain. 

 

I awoke with a scream and ice spilling from my fingertips. The room was bright with big windows and held tables and screens. Behind me I heard the clatter of something being dropped and a shadow appeared in front of me. Panic and fear ripped through my brain and I shot a blast of ice towards the figure who quickly jumped out of the way. 

 

It was back in front of me again in seconds and had their hands on my cheeks holding my gaze. I stared into those familiar blue eyes before me and a sob bubbled up from my chest. 

 

“You’re safe, I’m here.” He was saying to me. “You’re in Wakanda.”

 

I threw my arms around Bucky’s shoulders and buried my face in his neck as he gingerly wrapped his own arms around my waist. “I thought you were dead.” I continued to sob as he rubbed circles into my back reassuring me that he was still with me. 

 

“It’s gonna take more than being shot to take me away from you, doll.” He pulled back and wiped a tear from my cheek giving me a small smile.    
  
I heard beeping behind me and found Shuri examining a screen at the head of the bed. “It looks like many of your memories are still intact.” She stated, reading the scans. “It takes a great deal longer to fully erase one’s memory especially the ones holding onto deep significance and emotions. You got lucky.” She smiled at me. “You’re healthy enough to leave but I want you to stay in Wakanda for the next few days I have more tests to run. And be careful even though many memories we're lost some may still resurface after some time.” 

 

I nodded, “is there somewhere I can stay?” I felt Bucky take hold of my hand and give it a squeeze. 

 

“I have a place.” Bucky slipped his arm around my waist to help me off the bed and through the doors. I looked around in wonder at the architecture of the place. It was like nothing I had seen before. 

 

I didn’t ask were he was taking me when he led me outside into the orange light of the sunset, and by the time we made it to a small farm I was able to stand on my own. His hand migrated from my waist to my hand and I welcomed the contact. I could hear cries of laughter from children playing somewhere nearby and as we got closer to the farm five children came into view. 

 

“White Wolf!” One of them called, pointing at us. The rest looked over and joined in a chorus of “White Wolf” and something in a language I didn’t understand. They began to run towards us and I froze unsure of what to do, but when they reached us they all gathered around Bucky wrapping their arms around his leg or his waist and pulling at his other hand. Bucky smiled and high fived one of the boys in the group. He said something in that foreign language before running off again closely followed by the rest of the children.

 

Bucky took my hand again and he led me down to the hut in the middle of the field. It looked primitive on the outside with it’s straw roof and mud walls but as soon as I stepped inside the interior held the same architecture and technology as the palace we had just left. 

 

“Is this where you stayed?” I asked as I examined the art that hung on the walls. 

 

“They set me up here once the brainwashing was gone.” 

 

I turned back and found Bucky leaning against the doorframe with his arms across his chest. He looked around the room with a distant fondness and nodded towards the two other doors at the other end of the hut. “That’s the bathroom and that one is the bedroom. There’s only one bed so you can take it and I’ll sleep on the couch.” 

 

At that moment my stomach growled and I looked around. “Is there food?” Bucky chuckled and set to work gathering something to make. I tried to help but he gently pushed me away telling me that I needed rest so I walked back outside to explore the area. 

 

The sun had set behind the hills now cooling the air considerably. Goats bleated in a pen nearby eating grass and jumping over each other. I smiled at their carefree nature and walked over the fence to watch them, letting my mind wander. I didn’t know how long I had been standing there when Bucky joined me at the fence. 

 

“I figured someone would have taken them to their own farm but I guess they just took care of them here.” 

 

Silence fell between us for a few minutes as we watched the goats play.

 

“How long was I out this time?” I asked bowing my head. At this very moment I felt like a burden to everyone. Wanda and Nat had to be worried and Bucky was here with me instead of back in New York with his team.

 

“Five days.”

 

“Why are you doing all this for me? I can’t be worth that mu-” I was interrupted by Bucky turning towards me and gently cupped my cheeks with both of his hands. 

 

“Don’t think like that.” He said sternly. “I’ve been there, that kind of thinking will only makes things harder for yourself.”

 

“You could be out there helping so many other people, but instead you’re here with me.” I tried to look away but found it difficult to look anywhere but into the blue of his eyes. 

 

“You are worth so much to everyone back home. You are worth so much to me. I-” He paused, “I love you.”

 

Those last three words sent my entire world spinning. My mind went blank and my vision narrowed to the point were all I could see was him. I was suddenly very aware of how close he was to me and the heat that radiated from him.

 

“I-” I tried to form a single thought in response to his confession but nothing came. 

 

I held onto his arm for support because without it my legs would have definitely given out by now. Bucky leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips against mine. Instinctively, I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer and deepened the kiss. His hands moved their way down my body, across my back, and into my hair. 

 

Suddenly I was back in that cold, dark room lying on the thin mattress with someone else’s hands touching me. But these weren’t gentle touches, these were rough hands pushing my shirt up and grasping at my skin. I tried to fight it at first but that only made things worse so I closed my eyes and hoped it would be over soon. 

 

I pushed against Bucky’s chest and backed away as fast as I could tripping over a rock and stumbling back even further. The memory was still in the forefront of my brain and I couldn’t shake the feeling of those hands on me. Bucky took a couple steps towards me with a concerned look on his face but I backed away. “Don’t touch me.” I ran past him back to hut, and straight to the room he pointed out to me earlier locking the door behind me. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school’s done! I’ll have a lot more time for updates now :) thanks for your patience and for sticking around.

I paced the length of the small room trying my hardest to calm my breathing. My felt my heart race and despite the heat I felt a cold sweat cover my skin. The image of ketch's face hovering inches above me and his hands on my skin stuck in my mind and no matter what I told myself the feeling of helplessness never left.

 

Hugging my arms around me I sank to the floor as tears ran down my face. I stayed there curled up, leaning against the far wall until the tears ran dry and my body slumped over from exhaustion. I had trouble keeping my eyes open as I pulled myself onto the bed and as soon as my head hit the pillow I passed out. Hours later I woke up to find that a blanket had been draped over me and a bowl of food on the table beside me. My mouth immediately began to water at the smell and my stomach let out a loud gurgle as I quickly ate the food. It had been so long since I ate something solid, and not that I could remember but I couldn't imagine the food I was given at the Hydra base was any good.

 

With a full stomach my hands stopped shaking and my head cleared allowing my to think more logically. The newfound memories still sent shivers down my spine but I was able to separate myself from them and remind myself that I was in wakanda and safe. I untangled myself from the blanket that was still around me and padded towards the door to peak out and found Bucky asleep on the couch. As quietly as I could I slipped past him and outside into the cool air. The sky was still dark but I could see a sliver of pink on the horizon.

 

I sat on a rock by the small pond and watched the water ripple as I hugged my arms around my body. I sat there lost in thought when I heard a twig snap nearby. I jumped to my feet and ice slithered over my hands as my instincts kicked in. I scanned the brush but found nothing except a young girl standing at the edge of the trees frozen in place. She couldn't have been more than 7 years old and her fear was evident on her face but she stayed where she stood.

 

The ice melted from my hands and I relaxed my posture trying to look as non-threatening as possible. “I'm sorry.”

 

Her fear disappeared but she still regarded me with caution. So I sat back down on the rock and held my hand out. After a second a large snowflake formed in my palm. It's Crystal edges sparkled in the morning light as a light breeze took it from my hand and carried to the girl. She held her own hand out to catch it and as soon as it touched her skin her eyes widened with surprise.

 

“It's cold.” She stepped closer to where I was sitting. “Can you do it again?”

 

A smile spread across my face as another snowflake grew in my hands. This one however was blown out to the pond and melted into the water. By now the girl was at my side looking at my hands in wonder.

 

“How are you doing this?” She asked.

 

“Magic," I winked at her. "What's your name?”

 

She hesitated, “Eshe,”

 

“Eshe. That's a pretty name, I'm Y/N. Have you seen snow before?”

 

Eshe slowly shook her head and suddenly large snowflakes swirled around us. They caught in her hair and eyelashes, and melted as soon as they touched the warm earth. Eshe laughed and held her hands out to catch the snowflakes. I smiled as I watched her, then heard footsteps behind me and turned around to see Bucky walking towards us.

 

“Looks like you're having fun.”

 

Eshe gave Bucky a wide toothy grin and ran up to him chattering in that same foreign language I heard yesterday. He knelt down and said something to her too low for me to hear from where I was sitting and when he stood up again she hugged his leg and waved to me before running off towards the goats. Bucky continued to walk towards me this time with a slight frown. My stomach jumped into my throat and I stopped the snowfall as I stood up to meet him.

 

“What's going on?”

 

“Natasha just sent a message. They found Ketch. We don’t expect you to want to go to the site we can stay here and you can rest more if that’s what you need.”

 

It took my brain a second to process what Bucky was saying. “No. I want to be there.” I met his gaze and he nodded. My own thoughts were mirrored in his eyes, we both wanted to be there when Ketch was taken down and within the hour we were on our way to Germany to meet up with the rest of the team.

 

Bucky and I sat in silence on the jet as we flew. I watched his leg bounce and I rubbed my forearms in an attempt to calm my nerves. Hopefully in a few hours my nightmare would finally be over and I could start working on getting past this and move on.

 

\---------------------

 

We landed at an abandoned factory site with buildings scattered all over the large area.

 

“Y/N thank God!” Wanda gave me a relieved smile and hugged me tight. “I was so worried about you.”

 

“I’m doing better.” I smiled at her and looked behind her at the others with us. Steve, Nat, and Tony stood a ways back talking and nodding to each other, then Steve broke away to made his way towards us.

 

“How are you feeling Y/N? Are you sure you’re up for this? We would all understand if you want to sit this one out.”

 

“I need to do this.” I tried to look as menacing as possible and he clapped a hand on my shoulder, nodding.

 

“Alright,” he called everyone to action. “We narrowed it down to this building here.” Steve pointed to the largest one. “We go in teams of two, spread out and search the entire building, and we take Ketch alive.”

 

No one questioned whether Bucky would stay with me so Nat and Wanda paired up, leaving Tony to pair with Steve.

 

The building smelled of mildew and mold as we made our way through the halls. Bucky and I took a staircase down to the lower levels and as soon as we were alone I stopped at turned to face him.

 

“What are you doing? We need to keep moving.” Bucky hissed at me.

 

“Did you mean what you said? In Wakanda?” I didn’t say it but I didn’t have to, Bucky knew exactly what I was asking.

 

“I don’t think now is the best time to have this talk.” Bucky kept his eyes on the hallway ahead of us. “But yes. I did.”

 

My heart beat faster and my cheeks warmed as my mind went back to that moment. The sincerity in his eyes, how his arms felt around my waist. I almost felt safe.

 

“I got movement.” Bucky’s voice snapped me back to reality. Looking up I saw a shadow move in the distance, it raised its arm and…

 

“Get down!” I jumped at Bucky tackling him to the ground as a loud bang echoed through the hall. The bullet whizzed past us and when I looked up again he was running. “You’re not getting away this time.” I jumped up and sprinted down the hall after him leaving Bucky behind me. I heard him shout something after me but I didn’t care, all I cared about was getting to Ketch.

 

I rounded the corner after him and another shot sounded. I gritted my teeth at the pain that exploded in my arm but pushed forward dodging to the side as more shots were fired. I shot a blast of ice knocking him off his feet and pinning him to the floor.

 

“How’s Bucky doing?” He laughed spitting out blood.

 

With a feral scream I punched him in the face. “You tortured me,” punch. “Abused me,” punch. “Threatened my friends,” punch. “You shot Bucky,” punch.

 

I kept punching, tears blurred my vision and ran down my cheeks. I was so lost in my pain that I barely registered the hands that gripped my shoulders and pulled me away. Bucky hugged me to him as I struggled to break free.

 

“Let go of me Bucky! I need to finish this.”

 

“Y/N stop! listen to me, it’s over. He’s dead.”

 

It took a second for the words to register, I looked down at the body and sank to the floor. “Let’s go home.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: angst, smut (wrap it up y'all), 18+,

Bucky led me back out of the building, filling in the rest of the team on the way. 

 

“Y/N, that was reckless.” Steve stood with his arms crossed once we regrouped at the quinjet. “We had questions he could’ve ans-”   
  
“Steve.” Bucky cut him off. “Not now.” 

 

No one else said anything on the way back to the compound and I stared at my hands still splattered with blood. He was dead. The man who haunted my dreams and whose voice scratched at the back of my mind was no longer a threat to me or my friends. I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my chest, but at what cost? I had just killed a man. I had turned into what Hydra wanted me to be, a killer. Would it stop with Ketch? Or would the rage and fear I felt in that warehouse rear its ugly head again. I didn’t know how to move on from this.

 

I was the first off the the jet and quickly made my way inside not wanting to talk to anyone. But Wanda caught up to me.

 

“How are you doing?” She gently touched my hand but I pulled away. I was afraid of hurting her. 

 

“I don’t know, I just want to sleep.” The lie rolled off my tongue as I continued to walk and once I reached my room I wished her good night and closed the door behind me breathing a sigh of relief. I peeled my clothes off and stepped into the warm stream of the shower letting my mind wander. Having exhausted all thoughts on my actions I focused on Bucky. I replayed his words to me over and over in my head, but those were words spoken before I beat a man to death. Did he still love me? He was probably the only person here who understood, having been through it all before. 

 

I stepped out of the shower and dressed in a pair of leggings and a loose fitting shirt. I sighed as I crawled into bed but my mind still raced with questions and the need to see Bucky. The clock beside me read 2:23 when I finally gave up trying to sleep and quietly padded down to his room. The light under his door told me he was still awake but I hesitated at the door with my hand raised ready to knock. But before I could the door suddenly opened causing me to jump back in surprise. 

 

“Y/N?” Bucky stood in the doorway looking worried. 

 

He was wearing a simple grey t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants, his hair was damp and hung around his face framing his jaw. It took a couple of seconds for me to realize I was staring and I shook my head trying to focus. 

 

“I couldn’t sleep, and I didn’t want to be alone.” His blue eyes almost looked gray in the light of the hallway. “Can I come in?”

 

“Yeah, of course.” He stepped back allowing me to pass.

 

I had never been in his room before and took a second to look around. His room was bigger than mine, a table sat in the corner strewn with an assortment of guns and knives. A shelf on the far wall held a few artifacts that looked like they came from Wakanda. Leaning against one of the artifacts was a small, very old picture of Bucky and a man who looked very familiar standing in front of a poster that read  _ Stark Expo. _ Both of them were laughing and Bucky had his arm around the shoulders of the smaller man. He looked happy. 

 

“That was taken the night before I left for the war.” Bucky said coming to stand beside me, a note of sadness in his voice. “Before Steve took the serum, before I fell from the train. Before…. Hydra.” He sighed and turned to sit on the bed wringing his hands. 

 

My gaze fell from the picture to a sketch book lying on the desk below the shelf. “Do you mind?” I asked picking it up. Bucky hesitated for a second looking between me and the book before shaking his head. Slowly, I opened the book to a beautiful depiction of a pond at sunset. I flipped through the pages admiring the various sketches of Steve, and the women who looked like they were from his past. I turned the page halfway through the book to a sketch of me. I paused at this one staring at the page. I was sitting on the couch with my knees brought up to my chest. A glimpse of my face behind my hair held a haunted look lost in thought. 

 

“Was this from the first night we spoke?” I turned the book towards him and he nodded. 

 

“I couldn’t get you out of my head from that night. The only thing that helped was to draw.” 

 

Quickly flipping through the rest of the book I found that the rest of the book was filled with sketches of me, he had captured my tears, my fury, my smile. Warmth bloomed in my chest as I stared at them. I opened my mouth searching for something to say but nothing came. Then, once again, my thoughts went back to that night in Wakanda. 

 

“I love you.” I whispered.

 

His head snapped up at my words, a spark lighting up behind his eyes. “What?” he stood up from the bed and took a step towards me. “Say it again.” 

 

“I love you.” My heart pounded in my chest as I spoke, louder this time, more confident. A mix of relief and happiness crossed his face as he smiled. 

 

With just a couple steps Bucky closed the distance between us and his lips were on mine in a crushing kiss. One hand gripped my waist as the other hand tangled into my hair holding the back of my head. A strangled moan escaped my throat as I closed my eyes and sank into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck as both of his hands slid down the back of my thighs and swiftly picked me up to carry me over to the large bed. He gently laid me down on my back without breaking the kiss and settled down on top of me. 

 

His right hand slid down the length of my body until it reached the hem of my shirt and pushed it up. I gasped at the feeling of his hand against my bare skin and craved more. His skin felt like fire against mine, nothing else in the world felt like this and I never wanted it to end. 

 

His tongue lightly grazed my lower lip and I moaned again. Soon after, his mouth moved to press soft quick kisses all down my throat, along my collarbone and down to my chest. He pressed one last kiss between my breasts before his lips found a nipple. Bucky’s mouth felt warm against my breast as his tongue circled my nipple. I let out a soft moan and arched my back trying to get closer. As his lips and teeth teased me, his hand continued its mission down between my legs. He pushed them further apart and slowly trailed his fingers up the inside of my thigh towards my center and rested a palm against the ever growing wet spot on my leggings. 

 

“Jesus,” He panted, looking up at me. His eyes were dark with passion and lust as he straightened up, his fingers hooked into the waistband of my leggings and swiftly pulled them off. As soon as my pants were off his eyes ran up and down my body as if trying to commit it to memory. I suddenly felt very vulnerable and exposed under his gaze and brought my arms down to cover my breasts. I tried to close my legs but had some difficulty since he was still between them. 

 

He instantly noticed my change of attitude and looked up to meet my eyes again. “Is this ok?” He asked hesitantly. “We can stop if you want.” 

 

I shook my head and reached up to lightly brush his lips with my fingertips. “I'm ok,” I moved my hand so it cupped his cheek and I smiled when he closed his eyes at my touch. “I just- we need to go slow.” 

 

He nodded and leaned down to kiss me again, his lips lightly brushing my own. His hand went back to my thigh, gripping the skin and holding me close to his body. He didn't move his hand from my thigh until I grasped it and guided him to where I wanted to be touched. 

 

Heat bloomed in my stomach as his fingers trailed up my skin and rested in my folds. His thumb found my nub, swollen and aching to be touched. I let out a gasp as he began to lightly trace circles around it applying the smallest amount of pressure. “Bucky,” I moaned as he picked up speed and slipped a finger inside me. The heat in my stomach slowly spread and a pressure began to build until it felt like I would explode. 

 

“Oh God, Bucky... fuck!” My mind was on fire with pleasure. The pressure grew and grew and I closed my eyes ready for the sweet release of my orgasm but just as I was on the precipice he pulled away from me. My eyes flew open and I looked at him, “What the fuck!” 

 

He laughed and reached over to his bedside table pulling open the drawer. “Give me a sec, doll.” I watched as he reached in and pulled out a small metallic-looking package that I soon recognized as a condom. Without hesitation, I reached down and began unbuckling his belt. He pulled his shirt over his head and tore open the package with his teeth. Within seconds he was just as naked as I was and I stared at his body. I had never seen him like this before, that I could remember anyway, and I let out a shuddering breath. 

 

Scars marked his right arm and torso. Each one telling a story of a different battle. Absentmindedly I reached up and traced my fingertips across one on his side. Feeling the raised skin and jagged edges I looked up at him. He sat, frozen in place, watching me examine his scars as if waiting for me to leave. I offered him a smile and pulled him into a kiss again. 

 

He rolled the condom on and positioned himself over me again. His hair fell down around his face tickling my cheek but I paid no attention to it. I could feel the tip probe my folds as he tried to find my opening, after a few failed attempts I reached down to help guide him inside of me. As soon as he did he pushed forward and buried himself in me.

 

I felt both pain and pleasure as he did and I gripped his arm to brace myself. He froze and I saw the panic flash across his face. “Y/N? Did I hurt you?” 

 

I smiled at him “I’m ok, just go slow.” I pulled his face towards me so I could kiss him. As our lips met Bucky began to slowly pump in and out of me. The heat returned settling in the pit of my stomach again. He was hesitant at first, worried I'd get hurt but as he moved he gained more speed and power. 

 

Bucky straightened up and gripped my hips pulling me further onto him. I wrapped my legs around his waist and held onto the headboard behind me. “Oh god! Buck...please!” I gasped with each thrust as the pressure began to build again and the heat spread everywhere. “Fuck I’m so close, Bucky. Don’t stop. Don’t stop!” 

 

We locked eyes and I could see he was close too. “Babe, come for me.” He gave me a dark smile as one of his hands moved to my clit and made small circles in time with his thrusts. That pushed me over the edge. The pressure in my stomach exploded and waves of pleasure washed over me. This time I cried out in pure pleasure as his thrusts carried me through the ecstacy and I heard his groans as he came just moments after. 


End file.
